The Blossom of Rose

44 • Insecure

TW: Suicidal thoughts

"So, I've been thinking," Maya turns to me as we swing on the hammock under the clear, blue sky, "now that you and that asshole are officially a couple, we need a ship name."

"Seriously, Maya?" I sigh heavily, glancing at her and pulling my skirt over my knees. It irritates me that I can't get back into my comfortable position.

"Yes! All cute couples have one and you two are my OTP," she states, cradling her heart and gazing up at the sky.

"What've you got, then?" I deadpan, admiring the swirls of fluffy white amongst the vast blue. My Oakley is up there.

Oakley's dead and it's all your fault.

I screw my eyes shut. I haven't had intrusive thoughts since I started taking my new anti-depressants but now they're back. I knew it was too good to last.

A heavy feeling has been shovelling at my heart since I woke up this morning since I've woken up every morning for the past 10 days. And now, especially with Marco's dad here, it's started shovelling harder. Luckily, he hasn't tried to speak to me because I avoid him. Ricky's been following me around all day and is sitting at my feet as of now.

"I was thinking Ruca or Rosca," Maya ponders then darts up clapping her hands together, "I've got it! This one sounds so powerful and elegant which are the exact two things you guys are. And it really captures the essence of your relationship."

She pauses for dramatic effect and turns to me with bright, hazel eyes. Her blonde hair sways in its cute pigtails and she makes a banner gesture in the air, "Lurose."

"Hm, I don't know. I kind of like Rosca," I grimace.

"So, it's between Rosca and Lurose. I'll do a poll," she shrugs pulling out her phone.

"Poll? Wait, you post videos about us?" My eyebrows shoot up and I turn to her.

"Well, I accidentally posted a video from my drafts and it went viral. A lot of people were commenting how they want more. So I started making more, uploaded those videos and bam! Became an overnight star," Maya starts off hesitant then grins showing me her profile.

"20 million followers," I gasp, my eyes the size of saucers.

"I know right," she scoffs, "can you believe all these people are that interested in rich people's lives?"

"I mean that's basically the concept of reality TV," I tell her. I still can't believe she posted videos about us and is only telling me now. I'm not mad, but Luca most definitely will be.

"Ooh right, remember that video I took the other day of Luca feeding you?" I nod in response and she continues, nervously, "it was that video."

Maya shows me her phone and I see that the video did get 11 million views. I then scroll through her recent video of a day in her life to see her arguing with Marco, Brando ignoring them, me eating while shouting at them to be quiet and Luca just staring at me.

"Don't worry, I don't get anything controversial in there," she rolls her eyes, "do you know how many times I have to edit a video because of that meano? He either comes home with blood on his shirt or randomly puts his gun on the table. It's annoying!"

Yeah, he'll throw a fit when he finds out about this but we can always keep it a secret...actually no. He'll find out. Besides, she does make sure nothing controversial gets in there and most of the videos are hardly about us, they're about her. She's only 16, at the end of the day.

"Do you enjoy this?" I ask. I know about the deep search she's on to find her 'passion' and 'purpose of life', as quoted by her.

"Yes. I have a good feeling about this one, Rose. I think content creation was made for me. It's literally all about me being myself," she puffs her chest out, dramatically, and grins a smile so bright it lights up my own.