Numb (Alliance Trilogy)

Gift

~Chapter Eight~

The ramp had been finished and it was only three in the afternoon as Max began to pick up his things and dispose of the sawdust as best as he could. He dusted himself off and wiped at his sweat with a cloth. Somehow, he could not help but feel proud of himself as he looked at the steady ramp. Now Jenny would no longer have to be locked inside looking out her window. This ramp would provide her the freedom she needed to go outside and even take small strolls.

Alone. His conscious suddenly said.

Ignoring it, he pushed all the sad thoughts away and knocked lightly on the front door. He turned the knob and pushed his way inside to find everything quiet and Jenny's wheelchair facing the large staircase, again. It angered him inside to know how rejected she had been by the world and including himself. If he had read the lies pouring out of her mouth the first time he would have been here to aid her.

"Jenny?" Max called out. There was no need for him to speak in a loud voice. The void inside this house echoed off the walls and back.

He reached the top floor and stood facing a hall with only two doors. Max argued with himself, should he check if she was alright, or simply head down the steps and back home. His mind was protesting, saying it was best to leave her alone but then there was his heart. Odd enough he had never paid attention to his heart as he took a step forward and then another.

Reaching the first door, he gave a light knock and opened it to find a small single bed in the center. Many picture frames covered a small desk off to the far right corner. Most seemed to be of Jenny with a woman he could guess was maybe her mother or a relative. The other's displayed vacation pictures and self-portraits all taken by herself. On her bed laid a journal, a soft-leathered brown book he knew contained each thought that crossed her mind.

Suddenly his fingers itched to reach out to it and read it but of course, there was his conscious telling him it was wrong of him to do as much. Max looked behind him and closed the door swiftly but quietly. For a moment, he stared at it feeling the hammering of his heart as he closed his eyes. Before he could register the guilt he would feel afterwards he reached for it and opened the journal where a red pen laid, displaying the last entry she had written.

Max took a seat at the foot of the bed and read each word carefully, when he had finished he flipped the journal to the front page and began from there. In every page in every word, there was heartache as he read on. He came to what he considered the most touching words he had ever read in the entire Journal. He sighed and glanced at the door for a moment and looked back down to the page, beckoning that he read on.

June 12, 2011

Dear Journal,

My mother has passed and the heartache of now realizing how lonely I feel eats at me. The pain refuses to subside and the tears still flow. Gia and Frank have left, and with them a sum of more than four hundred thousand dollars each. I am alone once again, and the worst part of it all is that my mother will no longer be here to console me. All I have left is her house, which she left for me in her will. Truth is I could not be more than happy to have been left with so much. Momma, you did not live long enough to see your grandchildren run around in this very home. Although I am certain that from heaven, you will be watching them it hurts that you will not get to hold them, or be my support as they begin to grow in my belly. Sadly, I believe that their father will never stay to see them grow. I do not know who he is or where he might be, but although he might walk out on me like so many men have, I will be forever thankful that at least I will have a little piece of heaven to keep me company for a while. I just do not want to be alone anymore.

Max closed the journal and felt his gut clench, not only did he feel guilt over shadow him because he had invaded Jenny's privacy but because this girl had lost all hope in everyone. Two hours hand nearly gone by and he was a bit shocked that he had actually sat there reading her entire life's story. Now it hit him as he set the Journal down. Jenny was pushing away because she knew that once Izzy came back Max would have to go. She was simply waiting for him to disappear like so many people did. However, what was it about Jenny that made people leave her? After reading her Journal he could not dig up any sign of her begin arrogant, rude, or careless. This book of personal thoughts contained the truth about who she was.