The Alpha's Rogue | ✔︎ |

Chapter 18 - Alone forever

Chapter 18

Alone forever

Xavier Jackson

Emily and I have spent most of the week together, and stuck together like glue, as much as possible, and it's been an amazing week. I've learned a lot about my dear mate, as the week went by, and I'm starting to see the real her, that she has hidden behind her walls. It feels like her towering walls, are crumbling down, at least when she's with me. When she's with the pack, her walls stand tall and proud. I hope that after some time, she'll let them see the sides of her, that I see.

I have heard most of the rumors about Emily, just like everyone else, but the more time I spend with her, shows me that being heartless and uncaring isn't a side of her at all. I know, she's gonna be an amazing Luna one day, and I can't wait to have her standing at my side, as my equal.

My thoughts get interrupted by Nick barging into my office, with a panicked expression, and a heavy breathing. "Emily is gone, we have looked everywhere, but she's nowhere to be found" he rushes the words out, I've been terrified of hearing.

I jolt up from my seated position, as my chair fall backwards, at my hurried action. "Send out every warrior and tracker! I want her found and brought back here, immediately!" I roar so loud that the windows shake.

Nick bows shortly, before running out, yelling to every warrior and tracker, to find Emily. I hear their hurried footsteps stomp on the floor. I look out my office window, and see most of them shifting into their wolfs, as they make their way into the forest. I feel Chad push forward, and for the first time, I completely agree with him.

I open the window harshly, and jump out, shifting in the air. I land on my paws, and sprint to the border, knowing that she hasn't crossed yet. I would have felt it, if she crossed, so I know she is hiding somewhere in the territory. Hope fills every vein in my body, at that thought.

.

.

.

"We're very sorry Alpha, but we have turned every rock we've come across, and there is still no sign of our Luna. She must have left the territory" I turn to my warriors, with a deadly glare.

"Don't you think, I would have known, if my mate had left my territory!? I growl, through gritted teeth, as the anger I'm feeling, is burning my skin. "Now, go and make yourself useful, and find my fucking mate, before I slaughter every one of you idiot!"

Nick gives them a short but firm nod, making them take off in every direction, to search for my mate again. Nick turns to me, "you need to calm down Xavier, it's not their fault, and you know it. They are doing everything they can, but your mate is a master, in hiding and escaping. I understand your worry, and your anger, but you know, that it's not okay to treat your warriors like that"

I sigh heavily, knowing that he is right, but this is very hard for me. I'm not trying to defend my actions, but the thought of losing my other half, is destroying me. I really thought, that we were going somewhere, with our bond, and all that, but apparently, she just used it to her advantage. I can't believe I got played like a fool.

"It hurts Nick, so fucking much" I whimper slightly, as I unburden my pain.

"I still can't believe she just ran away. I really thought, that she was starting to feel something for me, but it was all a trick, to get me to trust her, so she could escape. I'm beginning to fear, that I might me unlovable" Chad whimper inside my head, as his ears flatten in defeat and great sadness.

"That's not true Alpha. The whole pack loves you, and if Emily actually leaves the territory, then it's her loss. I know it hurts, more than I can imagine, but it will get better. The pack will stand by you through your pain, and you will always have Jacob and I. We're always gonna be here for you" Nick assures me, and clap me on the back, before leaving to go look for Emily.

I shift to my wolf again, and search the territory once again, in hopes of finding her. I've been running for what feels like hours, and there's still no sign of her. Th more I search, the more I lose hope. I know she is still inside the territory, which lets me keep a little string of hope. I should be able to smell her from miles away, but her breathtaking scent have completely vanished.

Th night is falling, as the sun sets on the mountains. The early night rain is strong in the wind. I lift my snout, and howl in the night light, at the now present moon. My pack whimper, as they hear my sadness and hopelessness in my howl. They feel the pain, I carry, and I know it hurts them. I have to be strong for my pack, even if I'll never see my mate again, I'll have to keep it together, and do whatever it takes to not lose my sanity. Many wolves lose their sanity, and go rogue, when they lose their mate, and with me being an Alpha, it will be even harder for me to fight off the madness knocking on my door.

I feel a cold wind go through me, and the crack I feel in Emily and I's bond, tells me that she just crossed the border. That means it's too late now. I'm never gonna find her in no-mans-land. She can be anywhere by now.

<I'm sorry Chad. It's my fault. If I had been a better mate, you would still have your mate> I whimper in defeat, as I feel Chad close our link, and curl himself into a ball, in the back of my mind. His intense pain rush through me, and it feels like someone is ripping out my heart. I howl one last time, at the loss of my other half, before turning towards the pack house, with my head hung low. This is it, I'm gonna be alone forever.