Low Stress: Publicity Stunt (Jikook)

Episode Twenty

Was it the alcohol that made Jungkook's head spin? Was it the music that made his heart pound? He saw red, bright and fiery and blinding when Jimin, Park Jimin, smiled up so happily at Jungkook despite the lips of another man on his neck.

Nothing else mattered in that moment, no secret, no distance, nothing but getting Jimin out of that room and that roar in Jungkook's head to stop.

And now Jimin was under him.

Jungkook felt his arms shake with the strength of holding himself together. He couldn't even look Jimin, stare into that beautiful face he'd worshipped for years and have Jimin see just how near breaking Jungkook really was.

"You know I'm in love with you right?" Jungkook said. Jimin's eyes went wide and his mouth fell open - that slight drunk daze gone from his face.

Jungkook's fingers trailed the hickeys on Jimin's neck, examining the marks pressed in by another man's lips. He burned in a way he couldn't possibly explain, every fiber in his body ached as if pulled by another's fingers. He brushed his thumb against Jimin's chin, gently pushing it upwards gently as if testing a bruise. Were there more hickeys hiding there?

"What? What did you say?" Jimin asked, instantly sobering up.

"You know I'm in love with you and yet-" Jungkook hung his head, his knee between Jimin's thighs, separating Jimin's legs on the floor beneath them. The music had hushed into a subtle thump behind the door. "And yet and yet and yet." He mused, his nose just an inch now away from Jimin's neck, teeth out as if to rip the hickeys out and replace them with his own. "And yet you play with me. Toy with me. Confuse me. I can't take it Jimin. Have you and Jin ... since that night we kissed in your house...did you two-"

"No."

Jungkook watched the shame and guilt ripple across Jimin's pale skin like a rock disrupting still water. He swallowed, his brows knotting as he leaned up, a breath away from Jungkook's chest.

"He said he'd leave us alone if I just kissed him once. If I'd try us one more time." Jimin said, his voice slow and laced with bewilderment. His eyes were wide, face pale from shock. "He said he'd give up if it didn't work, that he'd finally leave us alone. So we kissed and he sucked my neck and then ... nothing changed." Tears ringed Jimin's eyes but he kept his frame tense. "Maybe I am as dumb as everyone's making me out to me. Maybe it really is just me who's the idiot. I really thought he'd leave us alone if he just got that chance he kept asking for and would feel and see and hear just how much I don't love him anymore. I was wrong."

Jungkook flexed his arms, veins popping in his forearms as his looked down Jimin's chest. Jimin wanted to reach up and cup Jungkook's cheek, but he didn't.

"We did kiss, Jungkook. I didn't - I didn't enjoy it. But it didn't work, he kept showing up and Jungkook I couldn't look at you after that. You've been cheated on before and I couldn't believe that I had fallen for Seokjin's words. He lied and I couldn't see your face as every word he'd said about me being weak and stupid was proved true. He was right, Jungkook. About me and I couldn't face you after realizing that."

Jungkook flicked his eyes to Jimin's neck, words trapped in his throat.

"Jimin. You could have reached out to me. Should have talked to me. Could have texted or said anything other than basic hellos. I would have believed you. Supported you. You've ripped me apart, Jimin with this silence. Torn me in ways I can't even - I can't breathe when I'm around you. Do you understand?" Jungkook's lips were so close to Jimin's neck that his breath felt like butterflies against it. If Jimin arched his back just the smallest bit, Jungkook's lips would meet his skin.