Chapter 6

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For several days you watched Kanan train Ezra, watching them both progress. You helped out around the Ghost, bonding with Sabine and Zeb as well. They have finally accepted you as a part of the crew.

One day you were lounging in the common area playing sabacc with Zeb when Ezra came bounding into the room.

"(Y/N)! (Y/N)!" he said, jumping over Chopper to stand next to you. "I found something."

Before Ezra could show you, Kanan walked out behind him, "Ezra, I told you not to bother her with that."

Ezra turned to Kanan, "I found something else."

"Well don't keep me in suspense," you chuckled. Ezra smiled and handed you his tablet and clicked on an image. "I was reading through the holofiles from Kanan's holocron and I found this," he said excitedly. You were shocked as you came face to face with an image of yourself, surrounded by Hunter, Echo, Crosshair, Tech and Wrecker. It was the image from one of your more daring battles. Underneath the image was a detailed battle report on your tactics, but you couldn't take your eyes off of Hunter, his eyes seemed so real.

A tear rolled down your cheek as you looked at him. Ezra looked at you confused, "I don't understand, isn't that you and your clone squadron?"

"Enough, Ezra," Kanan said, bringing Ezra's focus away from you, "why don't you go back to study."

Ezra went to protest, but Kanan interrupted, "Zeb, go with him."

Afew seconds later Kanan was sitting at your side, "I'm sorry, I told him not to discuss it with you, I wouldn't show him at all, but I thought your unorthodox tactics would be helpful."

You nodded in understanding, still not taking your eyes off of Hunter's image. Kanan placed a hand over the image on the tablet and pulled it out of your hands, "I know how much they meant to you, Hera told me everything."

You let Kanan take the tablet, letting it slide off your lap, but it was too late, the damage was already done. All the time you spent trying to forget them, trying to move on, it all came rushing back with one look. When you closed your eyes, all you saw was Crosshair's death, then Wrecker's sacrifice, then Tech's dead body, and then Hunter leaving. It replayed over and over in your head.

You threw your hands up over your eyes, trying to block out the noise, trying desperately to stop feeling the pain again. You were rocking back and forth next to Kanan as he looked at you in concern.

Tears streamed down your face as you relived each moment with your friends, each other their last breaths and Hunter's final goodbye. Kanan held you in his arms as you cried, and didn't let go as they became choking sobs.

Ezra came back into the room some time later, looking terrified and sad as he looked at you, "Ezra, I told you to study," Kanan said, trying to shield your face from his.

"I just thought that if we could do what we did for me, if she could show us, maybe we could share the burden too," Ezra said quietly, shuffling his feet.

"Ezra-"

"No, it's okay," you said, sitting up. You eyes were still puffy red and there were tears still glistening on your cheeks.

"You don't have to do this," Kanan said, turning to you.

You faked a smile, gesturing for Ezra to come and sit by both of you, "we can talk about battle strategies too, my memory will serve you better than the holofiles."

Ezra looked excited, but Kanan looked nervous, not sure if your mind could handle the pain of going over it again. But he had to admit he was curious about it all.

"I suppose we should start at the beginning," you said, closing your eyes and reaching into the force, "on Kamino." 

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