Chapter 8

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"I don't really understand," Ezra said, "everything seems fine."

Kanan hushed him as the scene faded to Kallar. He walked up, placing a hand on your shoulder, "this is where she died, isn't it?"

You nodded knowing he was talking about Depa Billaba. But you didn't want him to relive it, so you only showed yourself being pushed away from the betrayal of the clones and the batch eventually finding and saving you.

"War is complicated Ezra," you explained, "the Jedi were deceived by those in power and our armies turned against us. So many of us were killed by our own friends, but those that survived were forced into hiding."

"The Batch saved you?" Ezra asked.

"Yes," you nodded, "their genetic defects protected them from the order of the Empire, they saved me, but we still had no home to go to, we had to run."

You sent flashes of your adventures with the batch, until something caught your eye. You stopped, although it was more for your benefit that for Ezra or Kanan. It was you and Hunter, sitting in your quarters aboard the Marauder on your way to Ryloth's moon to help Hera all those years ago.

Your shoulders were touching, as you talked, "I don't know Hunter, staying with Cid is risky, if we keep putting ourselves out there, the Empire will catch wind and come looking for her."

Hunter nodded, "but we need credits and a place to lay low, it doesn't have to be forever."

"Are we endangering her?" you suddenly asked, "sometimes I wish we had left her on Kamino, at least there she was safe."

Hunter shook his head, "she was also an experiment, she was only safe because she was useful."

You nodded, "in such a short time, I have become quite fond of her."

Hunter turned to you, gripping your hands in his, "I have too, like she was meant to be with us."

"Us?" you asked.

Hunter looked down nervously, "you know how I feel, general, I think you always have."

"Hunter-"

You held up his hand, "you don't have to say anything, it's never been about knowing your feelings in return, there is just something in my heart that won't let me let you go, no matter how wrong I thought it was, I just couldn't stop it."

"Hunter, since the end of the war, life has been a whirlwind, all I can think about everyday is keeping us alive," you explained.

Before you could continue, he placed a finger to your lips, "I said I didn't need to hear anything back, my feelings are mine to bear, if blocking it all out is how you get by, then I will give you that." He sighed, brushing a piece of hair from your face, "we need you at your best, the more you worry about us, the more distracted you will be."

It was in this moment that you knew you loved him. He sacrificed his own feelings so that you could stay focused, he would bear never knowing your feelings if it meant you would be at your best. He was selfless, strong, completely stubborn, but good in every way. You knew that he was everything you needed in life, and it was in this moment that he completely had your heart.

You smiled fondly at the memory of the man you loved. But all too quickly, you were pulled back to Kanan and Ezra.

"Everything was good," you let a fast timeline go by for Kanan and Ezra to watch, showing you on the run, but still happy. Then you stopped the image abruptly on Polis Masa, "but our hunters would never stop coming, and eventually they found us."

You watched in pain as the Inquisitors slashed through rebels like they were nothing, watching Crosshair, Wrecker and Tech all fall upon his blade, for you. You looked away, a tear falling down your face. "The most important part about a battle, Ezra, is watching each other's back," you explained, "that is something the clones did very well, and working together as a team."

Ezra nodded, but it was Kanan who spoke, "That's enough, I think we've been through enough for one day."

"But Kanan, I want to-" Ezra started. But Kanan gave him a look and Ezra stayed silent, fading into nothing, you knew he had pulled himself from your vision and was back in reality.

"I am really sorry," Kanan whispered, "I didn't know they died for you, that is not an easy weight to live with."

You nodded, "it never is."

"Maybe, it can be an opportunity for you to say goodbye," Kanan added, "a way to make it easier."

"I tried that," you whispered, "it never gets easier, it just makes the pain worse all over again."

Kanan looked at you in sadness, "you loved them."

You nodded, "with everything I am, sometimes I wonder how I can even live without them."

"You GET to live without them, because they thought your life was more important than their own," he explained, "they died for something, make sure they didn't do so in vain." With that Kanan's figure turned and disappeared, leaving you alone with your own visions.

You shifted your memory to the funeral pyre and you watched it burn. You thought you had worked through your issues, tried to block out the pain, but seeing it again made it real all over again and you wondered if the pain would ever truly go away.  

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