I'm woken up by someone placing wet kisses on my neck, a soft moan escapes my mouth. I quickly open my eyes. And there he is, my dear husband, looking handsome in his sweat pants and vest. His smile still does things to my body.
"Awungibulisi Yini maMooketsi?" he asks me with a smile plastered on his beautiful face
"Hi Mzwakhe" I say to him
"what happened to you calling me baby or Mlandeni?"
I take out my phone under the pillow and look at the time. It's almost 4 am, so I get out of bed and brush my teeth. I get back into the room and Mzwakhe is busy with his phone. I sit next to him and he turns and gives me his attention.
" Sthandwa sami ukahle kodwa?" (are you okay) he asks
Am I okay. You left me for four fucken months you asshole. You left me all alone, unguarded and you ask me if I'm okay. That's what I want to say but I hold myself.
"Mzwakhe you left me for four months, ngizoba kahle jwang hhee?" I ask him
"Baby I came back nje. You knew ukuthi I couldn't leave maKhumalo. We just got married"
"is it because I can't give you kids" I ask him
He looks at me as if I've gone crazy or something.
"Araba Mzwakhe marn!" I shout at him
"Ungalinge uphakamise izwi lakho Uma ukhuluma nami Basetsana know your place woman!" he shouts back
"Mzwakhe you don't care about me wena. You and your family, you don't care about me. Ever since you got married to Nkuli you've only called me 4 times to check up on me. Me your wife"
"Are you now jealous of Nkuli Basetsana?"
"why would I be jealous of your wife Mzwakhe hhee?"
"I don't know you tell me. This new behavior of yours is starting to bore me honestly." he says
I just look at him and chuckle. This man is selfish and so unbelievable.
"I packed my things and told myself that I'm going back home, to my wife but wena you have to be soo childish. I left a good woman in KZN only to back to such a woman nxx" he says
"what are you trying to say Mzwakhe? O reng vele vele?"
"Exactly that" he says
"you are one selfish, inconsiderate bastard.
You got married to another woman, left me alone for four fucken months and when you come back you tell me about Nkuli being a better woman. I stayed with you through thick and thin and now you're comparing me to your other wife. You don't know how it feels like to question your worth. I ask my self if I'm enough for you. I'm as fertile as they come but I can't give you kids. Your family has turned their backs against me. You cousins and siblings say that I'm not woman enough. Now tell me Mzwakhe, is my anger not justified huh? Am I not supposed to get soo angry, jealous and miserable"I ask him. What surprises me though is how calm I am while uttering these words.
"I... I honestly don't..."i cut him short before he continues
" Phume Mzwakhe I have to get ready for work"
I go to the bathroom and take a shower. I've been feeling like a mess ever since my husband got married to Nkuli. I don't blame him though, I blame his selfish ancestors.
It's a Friday today so I'm permitted to wear anything casual. I wear my jeans, a floral blouse and my airforce sneakers. I apply make up to cover up my swollen eyes and cracked cheeks. I spritz my
Good Girl by Carolina Herrera perfume. Physically I look good but emotionally I'm a fucked up mess. I take my phone and my car keys and head to work.
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一般小說A lot of people write about polygamous relationships and always make the first wife the villain and the second wife, 'the chosen one'. But do we take a minute and think about how the first wife could be feeling? How her confidence could be shattered...
