UNTITLED

Before Dawn I

Chapter 6

"Yeyi wena Basetsana who do you think is going to wash the dishes while you're busy sleeping" I hear loud banging on my door. This is what my life has come to. I quickly get out of bed and tidy up 'my' room. I get dressed without taking a bath and look at my reflection in the mirror. Sigh! Tears stream down as I don't recognize the woman I'm seeing. I've lost a lot of weight in the span of two months. I have eye bags and my face  looks pale. I get out of the room and head to the main house. Ohhh, by the way I'm no longer staying in the main house. My mother in law packed all of my belongings and told me that I'll be in sleeping in the maids quarters. I get to the main house.

"Sanibonana" (greetings).
"Njengoba ulala kuze kushaye lesikhathi uthi wubani uzosilungiselela ukudla kwesek'seni? Uthi ubani ozowasha lamawindow? Ubani ozoyenza iwashing?" (As you are sleeping till this time who do you think is going to make breakfast? Who is going to wash the windows? Who is going to do the laundry?) she asks with a stern voice.

" I'm sorry mah, I'll get on it" I say walking past her. I go to the kitchen and get started on my chores. When the clock strikes 13:00 I've completed all of my chores. I head to my room to take a quick wash. I'm now sitting in my room thinking about how my life has turned upside down all because of a mere kiss. It's been two months. Two fucken months living like this and I'm soo tired. I'm soo tired of working like a slave. I'm  tired of tolerating their insults. I'm tired of being a Mkhize. It's been two months since I last contacted my mom and my friends. I'm not even allowed to leave these premises.

By 16:00 I go to the main house to get something to eat. I take three slices of dry bread and black coffee. I get to my room and lock the door. When I'm done eating I take my dishes to the house, wash them and put them where I'm supposed to put them. My heart is soo heavy. I remember what my grandmother used to tell me. She used to say "Basetsana my child, when the going gets hard for you get down on your knees and pray. Never doubt the power of prayer. Rapela Basetsana".

I get on my knees and pour my heart out to the Lord. "Lord Jesus I know it's been a while since I've seeked for your kingdom. You probably don't know me anymore. I feel so broken right now. My life is on a stand still. I can't continue living like this. I pray that you give me the strength to leave this toxic relationship. I pray that you give me direction to move on. I pray that you deliver me. I pray that you hear me when I'm pouring out all my troubles and all my sorrow. I pray for better days. In the name of the father, the son and the holy spirit, I thank you Lord Jesus. Amen." I feel like the burden on my shoulders has been lifted. I decide to call Mzwakhe and meet God halfway. He answers on the third ring.

" I hope you have a valid reason for calling at this hour" he says.
"Hello Mzwakhe may I talk to you" I say.
"Kanti wenzani manje? Aren't we talking?" he asks in a pissed voice.
"I want a divorce" I blurt out.
He laughs so hard. Is this man crazy?
"whuhh Basie you had me for a minute" he says.
"I'm serious Mzwakhe. I'm tired of this marriage and I want out.
" The only way you're going to leave this marriage is in a casket. You and I will be together till death do us apart. Don't you remember our wedding vows? "he asks.
" Don't fucken tell me about wedding vows. I want out and thats it. You will grant me a divorce. I'll get my lawyer to contact you. Nxxx!! "
" Yeyi wena sfeb... " I quickly hang up and switch off my phone.

How could I have not seen that I married a psychopath? Was I that blinded by his charming ways that I ignored the red flags. I'm just glad that soon I'll be finally closing this chapter and hopefully focus on me again.
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