Deep (Zarry AU)

Swansong

We messed around...

When I was done crying Chlo and I walked back as far as the bus stop.

"Whatcha gonna do now?" she said, looking at me like I was a five year old kid who'd just grazed her knee. Some role reversal.

"Dunno" I said, staring out at the clouds over the recreation ground . The sun's light was watery; fading into the early March evening.

But I did know. I knew exactly what I was going to do. I was going to go online; contact people. People like me. People who understood. Ok, so Chloe understood. She'd been a Directioner; back in the day, when we were still at school. And even after that. But she had never been a Zayn girl. And she was never a Zarry shipper. She never got that bit about me. Said it was just too weird.

"Ok Miss Misery," she said, putting her arm round me again and giving my back a rub.

I pulled away smiling, rubbing my gloved hand across the damp streak on my cheek. "It's all your fault, remember?" I said. "You got me into them in the first place!"

*

I was remembering.

On the Zarry tag, old favourite youtube channels, watching the foetus clips, from those days when the boys' arms were still an unblemished, perfect tan, and when Harry used to rub both hands in his hair like he was washing it before he swept it sideways. The days when Zayn used to look at Harry in pure wonder. The day when Harry said he missed Zayn's eyes.

*

Harry was remembering too.

Sat in his villa, playing with the tiny shells that fringed the drapes around his bed.

We messed around until we found...