Deep (Zarry AU)

Light and shadow

The door had clicked shut behind them; Harry tried to flick on the light switch and Zayn turned to shake his head at him. Even in his drunken state Harry realised how significant it was that Zayn didn't tease him for trying to turn on a light during a power cut. It was as if what they now knew about each other loomed over them like a standing stone, sending their usual lighthearted banter into dark shadow. Harry hung back, sweat forming under his collar and heart pounding, as Zayn walked around the room. The blinds that fronted a large window at the far end were open and neon signs from the other side of the street striped the floor with alternating red, yellow and white light.

"What is this place?" Zayn said.  "Pile carpets but it's not a bedroom?"  He wandered over to the wall.  "Look – " He pulled at a large, flat, rectangular object propped against it. Harry heard the sound of paper tearing. "Stuff wrapped in... packaging.. or somethin."

"Just a storeroom, I guess," Harry exhaled, running a hand through his hair. Who cared what kind of room it was? Harry had an ache in the pit of his stomach and he felt like he could swallow something whole.

As if he'd read his mind, Zayn turned and walked back towards Harry.

"Do you think-"

Shut the fuck up, Malik.

Harry stepped forward and stopped Zayn's words with a kiss, curling one arm around his shoulders and placing the other hand on his waist, although it slipped down as soon as he felt the response in Zayn's groin and the gasp in his throat. And even as he kissed him, Harry started working impatiently at the zip, then the belt, flicking the end through the trouser loop and across to detach it so the trousers fell partway down Zayn's hips. "Not yet, I -" Zayn started.

"Bad luck," Harry said, his words slurring, this time not from alcohol. He spat on his hand and pushed it under the waistband of Zayn's underwear, gripping around the warm, thick shaft and fisting - maybe harder than he should have, because Zayn let out a moan and Harry felt his knees buckle. Harry couldn't hold back now; even if Zayn said No again he probably wouldn't have heard him; Harry's erection was pressing against the seam of his zipper and he could feel the fabric soaking. "Got to have you in my mouth" he muttered, and Zayn groaned. "Jeezus Harry..." he whispered, as Harry dropped to his knees in front of him, pulling at the waistband of Zayn's underwear and freeing his cock so it sprang forward to meet Harry's waiting tongue. And although Harry wanted to tease him with his breath and with short, flirtatious, delicate strokes -  well, that would have to wait for another day. Because today it was all Harry could do just to lick along the shaft once before gripping the base with his hand and taking the whole of Zayn's length into his mouth, opening his throat as he did so - because today,  with Zayn so insanely gorgeous and here and wrecked and wanting him - a fact Harry could still hardly believe - well Harry had no choice other than to push him as far and as fast as he could. Harry moaned around him, as Zayn gripped Harry's hair and muttered swear words under his breath. And tears stung Harry's eyes as he realised how much he needed this, wanted this, needed to see Zayn's face again as he came - hard and breathless and  astonished - this time at Harry's command.

*

"You told him what?"

Harry looked down at his knees. His cheeks were burning now.

"Oh Harry, first rule of dating!! Only rule of dating straight guys!! Don't fall for them. Or at least, don't tell them you've fallen for them. Ever, ever, ever."

Harry crossed his arms on his knees and dropped his head onto his folded arms.

"But I told him because.... because it's true," he murmured.

Harry looked up, stared towards the window. A solitary crow was launching itself from the grey slate roof opposite, its wing beats almost audible through the ill-fitting frame.

A single tear tracked down Harry's cheek.

"I know I shouldn't have. I know he'll break my heart. I just couldn't... not....say it."

Nick's face softened. He shifted close to Harry, put his arm around him.

"God, Styles. You really don't do things by halves, do you?"

Harry fiddled with the ring he'd started wearing only recently.

"So what did he say, when you said it?"

"Nothin."

Nick drew in breath through his teeth.

"I'm an idiot." Harry said.

"No you're not. You're just.... human."

*

Nick had brought him a cup of tea. As always. Harry sniffed and raked his hair back, out of his eyes, before sipping it.

"I still can't get over the fact that you two got into a hotel room without a key. And at the M! One of the hippest and most expensive hotels in the West End! Trust you to get something no one else can afford, for free!!" Nick said.

"Yeah" Harry mused, a smile playing over his lips as he sank into the memory. He didn't want to tell Nick that it wasn't really a hotel room as such; that they'd fucked in a posh version of a furniture storeroom, like two desperate teenagers. "Think the power cut must've affected the locks or something. The door just opened."

Nick looked at Harry. Harry knew he was dying to find out exactly what happened after the door opened. But Harry also knew Nick was caring enough not to press him for it.

"The thing is..." Nick was saying. "I hate to say it, but – the thing is.... with straight guys, I mean – and you're not going to want to hear this, but - take it from me. They are very predictable."

Harry sat straight and looked at him, concentrating. It wasn't like Grimmy to be this serious.

"See – " Nick shifted in his seat " – whatever happened that night.... I will bet you anything, that the next time you see Zayn... or discuss it, or whatever.... he will want to pretend it never happened. Like – it may not have actually happened in Vegas, but – you know what I mean. Or- or – and this is a good one – he will claim he was so drunk he can't remember anything. Mark my words. It'll be one or other of those two lines. Cos he needs to have an escape route. And as for you – well. Given that you've pretty much exposed your whole pathetic, fragile, beating heart to him already, I'm thinking you should be getting your hands on a bulletproof vest, like, now."

Harry frowned at the floor. He didn't want to believe what Nick was saying but it made total sense. He hadn't heard from Zayn in days. Ever since the night they stopped being friends for a few hours. It seemed like Zayn was trying to ignore him.

The worst thing was the way that Harry's body still came alive whenever he thought about what had happened that night - even though his heart felt like a lead weight in his chest. It was like two of his organs were at odds with each other. How could his cock still be getting so much enjoyment out of something that was breaking his heart? He knew that Nick was right but he also knew that if Zayn so much as hinted to Harry that they could replay that evening, Harry would be there like a shot.

What had Nick said just as Harry was leaving?

"Remember Styles. Let's pretend it never happened: the catchphrase of the terminally bi-curious. And by terminally bi-curious I mean not really into guys."