haunted by the past

17. the one with the screaming match

"Do I really have to go?" I pouted sitting on my bed in our hotel. The Grand Prix was over and all that was left was the after party, which didn't really tempt me. I hadn't talked to basically anyone but Carlos the whole weekend since Friday. Of course, my brothers too but besides them I had been on my own for most of the time.

After the Friday I hadn't pumped into Pierre at all, which was weird cause usually when I didn't want to, he was everywhere.

"Even Charles said that you need to come, how often does that happen?" Louis made a very good point. We had been getting ready together all the three of us in our room and all that was left was actually leave to the party.

I had a red dress on. It was simple. It had an open back and it came down to half of my thigh. It flattered my body but didn't make me look like I was selling myself which was good. Louis had on a basic white buttoned shirt and straight black pants while Marie did look bit like she was selling herself, but she still somehow managed to pull it off without me wanting to barf.

"Come on, we're going to be late" Marie whined, and I got up. Let's do this.

"Yes, that's the spirit" Louis cheered as I walked towards the door.

The club was full of gorgeous people as we walked in. Most of the girls were models, rich or both and I straight away felt very self-conscious of myself and crossed my arms over my chest. The guys in the club were mostly drivers, and their friends, or some other big names. I felt so out of place while the two of my friends looked like they had walked into the heaven.

"This is awesome" Marie flashed a genuine smile and Louis nodded his head while I tried to get a smile on my face.

We walked even further in and I hadn't still managed to find any familiar faces. The place was crowded, and I felt like I was being choked. The panic in me grew a little bigger once I realized that my friends had disappeared on my sight and I was left alone in this ocean of people.

Oh god.

Then suddenly I felt a hand on my back, and I turned to look who was touching me. I wasn't in a mood of fighting some dirty guy right now.

"Sorry" Carlos mumbled seeing my shocked face. "You just looked like you were going to pass out any minute, I thought you could use a familiar face" he smiled gently, and I let out a sigh.

"You're not wrong" I let out a small laugh of relief and turned fully to Carlos. "Thanks" I smiled shyly. With him I found myself reminding me of the rule that I had made for myself after losing Jules, I had to remind myself of Charles' words of his teammate and I had to remind myself that I was too big of a mess even if there weren't any rules holding me back. At the same time, I was kind of scared and relieved that I found myself feeling even little of these kinds of feeling towards someone because I never thought that it would be possible again.

"You okay there?" Carlos snapped me out and I realized that I had been staring him the whole time.

"Yeah, better now" I nodded making the guy smile.

"How about I keep my promise tonight and won't leave you alone?" he asked with a grin, and I remembered the first party we had gone together.

"Yeah, you do that, and I think that I can even have fun" I smiled back to the Spaniard who took my hand leading me to the bar. I could feel a lot of eyes checking me up and down and for once I felt powerful. The girls here were all about Carlos, after all he was the homeboy here and let's not forget that he was gorgeous.

I didn't know where the sudden bursts of confidence had come from, but I liked it.

"Hey girl, there you are" my bubble was popped right there as I turned to look Marie.