Fools in Love

21- Sam

Sam

"Have fun with Ben," Noah muttered as he turned around.

"Noah," I called to him but he already walked out the door. My hands pulled on my hair before sliding down my face. I wanted to scream, slump down on this disgusting tiled floor and scream and cry and throw myself a pity party.

My heart throbbed and telling Noah again that we can't be together was another stomp to my heart and I didn't know when it was going to end. If I knew a hundred percent that I wouldn't go through another heart break with Noah- put him through another heartbreak- I'd run out this bathroom and chase after him, telling him I loved him too.

With my previous relationships, when they ended it was painful for a bit, but when Noah walked away from me- like he did the first time we broke up and again last year- it was never ending pain. I didn't think I could survive another break.

Noah was right though, for some messed up reason, I liked the fight, I craved it which was why I couldn't stay away from him. That was also why I applied to Noah's stupid school. Why when Kaitlyn walked through that door with Noah, I stayed instead of running like I should have.

When Noah walked out of the bathroom, I wanted to go after him, every bone in my body was screeching at me to go after him. But I didn't. I walked out, catching Noah's eyes, and I forced myself to stay put as he left. More excruciating pain radiated through my chest.

At our booth, Kaitlyn pulled me into a hug. I sighed, hugging her back. Kaitlyn opened her mouth to speak when we pulled apart but I cut off whatever she was about to say. "Don't. I know, okay?" I spoke referring to me knowing how screwed up everything is between Noah and I and there was one very big solution: me taking that leap off the cliff and being with who my heart actually wanted to be with. Noah.

"Fine, I won't say anything about you two, but at least put Ben out of his misery," and with that she followed Noah out.

I looked over at Kai who gave me innocent I told you so eyes. "I get that you're not on Team Ben, but don't even think about hopping on Team Noah. I don't want to hear it," I told him sternly.

Kai raised his hands in surrender, "I didn't say anything," was his response before he gathered the remaining trash on the table including my half eaten grilled cheese and stood up, throwing everything away. He looked at me, "But Noah is taller and I've seen your Instagram feed, you like taller men."

I scoffed.

*

Noah and I didn't talk during Friday's class, he didn't even look at me. As soon as class was let out and I watched Noah leave- my heart feeling weird- I decided to skip my last class and go straight to Ben's.

I was thinking a lot after I left the restaurant Thursday and all this morning; Kaitlyn was right. I needed to end things with Ben. It wasn't fair to him or me to be in that relationship. But I was scared; without Ben, who did I have to fall onto? Not only that, Ben meant so much to me, couldn't we just stay friends? But I couldn't have it both ways.

The entire bus ride over to Ben's dormitory, my brain was working overtime, going back and forth from you need Ben in your life to you're being selfish.

Eventually, at my bus stop, I made up my mind. I got up, determined to do what was right... but then I went back on the bus out of fear and sat back down. And I stayed on that bus until it brought me to the train station. I bought a ticket and when I took my seat, I took my phone out.

He answered on the third ring. "Hey, what are you doing today? Could you pick me up from the train station around one-ish?"

So around one-ish in the afternoon, my good friend, Carter was leaning against the driver side of his car, waiting for me. "Carter!" I called to him with a wave when he looked up from his phone and waved back.