Fools in Love

29- Sam

Sam

I put my phone in my pocket with a sigh. Noah was probably mad at me, but it's not like I could control other people's death. And what was I supposed to do, break Ben's heart while he's grieving over the loss of his grandmother?

Part of me did feel guilty- a big part of me actually- because I cheated on Ben. It doesn't matter that Ben and I had an argument beforehand, cheating is cheating.

"You okay?" Ben asked me.

"Huh?" I questioned his words before they registered in my brain, "Oh, I'm fine. I should be asking you that," I turned to him after stopping at a red light. Ben didn't feel up for driving- reasonably- so I took the driver seat of his car and we headed to Ben's house.

"No, I'm not okay," and tears built up in his eyes again. He's been on and off crying since he heard the news.

I placed my hand on his cheek, "I'm sorry. I wish I could make you feel better."

Ben coved my hand with his and leaned into my palm. "Just you being next to me makes me feel better."

I gave him a small smile before the light turned green and I returned my hand to the stirring wheel. The rest of the ride was quiet save for the soft music playing and the sound of Ben crying every so often.

"Sweetheart," Ben's mom said as soon as we entered his house, and she pulled him into a hug.

I shut the door behind us, my heart hurting for Ben and his family. I might not have been in love with Ben nor did I want to be with him, but I still cared greatly for him.

They pulled back, both of them swiping at their eyes before his mom turned to me. "Thank you for being here."

"Of course," I said.

Ben grabbed my hand, giving a light squeeze before saying, "Let's put our stuff in my room."

"The funeral's tomorrow, sweetheart," Ben's mother called as Ben guided me upstairs into his bedroom.

My boyfriend's bedroom was- for lack of better words- boring. Ben didn't have much hanging on his plain white walls other than a Super Natural poster. His bed was equally boring with grey sheets and a grey comforter. He had old wicker furniture that remained clear of any knickknacks, but he did have two picture frames. One with a photo of him and I in Punta Cana and one of his family, him smiling broadly next to his grandma.

We set our weekend bags on his carpet before sitting down on his bed. "You okay?" I asked then realized that was stupid, "I'm sorry, that was a dumb question, I just hate seeing you sad."

"Seeing my mom makes me feel a bit better. I'm honestly more worried about her."

"It'll be hard for a while, it's a grieving process, but she'll be okay," I said, but I didn't know if that was true; I've never lost someone so close to me. And to lose your mom? I'd die.

Ben gave me a small smile of gratitude, "I love you." My heart dropped. More guilt. "It's okay, you don't have to say it back yet." So I didn't say anything, but I was sure he could read my culpable expression. "Where were you last night?" Ben asked out of nowhere.

"I told you I was in my dorm."

"I checked your location on Snapchat. You weren't home," he said, not in an accusatory way, but in the calm tone he usually uses with me.

"You checked my location?"

"Please don't turn this on me. I knew something was off. Were you with Noah?" He questioned me.

I was speechless and surprised he went as far as checking my location. "I... no, I wasn't. I was out with Kai, we got food. Why are you asking this now?"

Ben sighed, "I'm sorry, seeing Noah at that party knowing you were still there had me going crazy and then you not responding to me?"

God, I was a horrible person. "My phone died so I couldn't respond until I found a charger," lie after lie. Didn't I get upset with Noah for lying so much? Now I was the pot calling the kettle black.

"Okay," Ben sighed in relief this time. "Noah's bad for you, baby, and you know that. He's not a good person." I didn't respond, but I was itching to defend Noah. Ben didn't know him like I did. No one knew Noah like I did.

It was weird sleeping in bed with Ben that night, I couldn't even fall asleep. Ben, on the other hand, was snuggled peacefully against me- his arms wrapped around- and all I could think about was how much of a hypocritical liar I was.

I grabbed my phone that laid on the nightstand beside his bed and pulled up mine and Noah's text messages.

Noah
Today 2:34 AM

Good night❤️

Not likely knowing
you're in bed with him.

I'm sorry
Read 2:35 AM

The next day was as brutal as I knew it would be. Surrounded by people dressed in all black, tears rushing down people's face. And worst of all; watching Ben cry. I tried to be the best support I could for Ben, but I knew nothing could really help in that moment. It brought back memories from when I attended Noah's dad's funeral and seeing Noah so crushed.

But what I had trouble supporting; Ben kissing me. Everything felt so different now that I admitted out loud being in love with Noah. Any time Ben pulled me in to kiss him, I had to refrain from pulling back. I didn't think Ben noticed, luckily, but my whole body, mind, and heart knew it was wrong.

I couldn't wait to be home and run to Noah. I wanted to kiss him and hold him, I didn't want him to be upset with me. So not only was I feeling guilty towards Ben, but also towards Noah. Let's just say my anxiety was at an all time high that weekend.

But I had a feeling coming home was going to be far worse than enduring that funeral or Ben's kisses because Noah being upset and jealous never mixed well.

**

Until I really get back on my feet, Patreon will be paused. I will be finishing Fools in Love on Wattpad and then any new story, I will return to Patreon.

-Xoxo, Bert