What now?

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with Nat still gone I have nothing to do.

I have a routine now, since Nat isn't here. I wake up to my alarm, it reads '5:00 am' "shut up" I groaned leaning over and turning it off. I got up and went into the bathroom, I turned on the shower and stepped in after a moment. once I was finished washing myself I got out. I got dressed on my training outfit. (again it is whatever you want) I walked downstairs to meet with Bucky, he wanted to run with me again. "lets go" he said smiling doing little finger guns at me then the door "ok, I'm coming" I jogged over to him. I was a little tired today, but that is because I didn't sleep last night or the night before, I was looking over files on my parents. we were doing the usual run, Bucky was telling me about something but I wasn't listening "and then- y/n? are you listening?" he slowed down a little "oh, uh, yeah I'm listening" I smiled glancing over at him "then what did I just say?" he smirked "ok, fine, I wasn't" I giggled "now I have to start all over again" he extended his arms exasperatedly "so basically" he started but I went back into my thoughts. my dad was a hydra agent, using women to create mini hydra solders then they killed the women. why would someone do that? I can't believe I'm the product of that. why couldn't I be the product of two people who love each other?   maybe I would be a better person? I could have been happier? I wouldn't have a price on my head. my mother truly loved my father, and what does she get? a bullet in her head! "y/n! stop!" just as I turn to see what Bucky was on about I smacked into a wall. I fell flat on my back "ow!" I groaned touching my fingers to my forehead "y/n" Bucky sighed putting a hand to his face. I pulled my fingers back into view to see blood. "you ok?" he kneeled down and helped me up "no, I just hit my face on a wall!" I yelled "okay, lets go inside" he smiled "ok" I giggled. we went into Tony's lab and he laughed at the sight of us "what did you do this time?" He said giggling to himself "I ran into a wall" I shrugged hopping onto the counter next to him "of course you did" he said laughing . he cleaned the cut and was about to put a band-aid on it. it was very quiet in the room and I can't deal with long silences "so, uh, I don't know if this was in my chart but I was diagnosed with double joints, not literally obviously but yeah, my joints don't stop where they are supposed to" I smiled starting a conversation "really?" he smiled stepping back "yeah, sometimes it causes pain but other than that its actually kinda cool" I smiled "is that why you have scoliosis?" he asked hopping up next to me "partly, but its also why I wear shoes that have arch support" I leaned over resting my head on his shoulder "does the missions we send you on cause any pain?" he asked, I could feel the vibrations from his voice "sometimes, most of the time no but every once in a while, yeah, I guess" I shrugged lightly "well, if you are ever in pain, just tell me. ok?" I could feel his reassuring smile  "ok" I smiled. "ok, well I am gonna go, see you later tony" I said standing up "ok" he smiled as I walked out. I went back to the training room and saw Steve. he smiled when he saw me and I did the same "l/n" he walked over to me "captain" I mocked "ok, you ready to start?" he smiled "you know it" I giggled. we walked over to a mat "ok, just a training fight, don't kill me, please" he smiled "okie dokie" I got ready, he did the same. we started, he went to punched me and I stopped his fist, he went to punch with the other but I stopped him, so he stood there fists pointed at me unable to move. "l/n let me go please" he asked awkwardly "ok" I let him go then pushed him down "don't worry, I wont light you on fire" I joked as he stood up "thanks" he smiled. he took it as a chance to kick me down but I grabbed his foot and flipped him onto his back, he got up quickly and tried to punch me I blocked it and lifted him up then I threw him down "give up yet?" I smirked "nope, I could do this all day" he said standing back up "ok" I shrugged. he again tried to punch me but I dodged it and went between his legs ending up behind him pushing him to the ground, he got up and tried to kick me but I touched his foot with the tip of my pointer finger sending him flying onto his back "ok, ok, you win" he groaned "yay" I cheered "I'm done" I sighed leaving "bye l/n" he called. I showered and collapsed onto my bed, still in my towel, I got dressed and sat back on the  bed laying on my back I stared at the ceiling. my head hurt a little from the hitting the wall and from using my powers. Nat will be gone for four more days. "ugh" I groaned covering my eyes, my everything ached. I want her to come back, sooner than four days! its too long to wait, I'm bored and lonely. but that's ok because now I'm drifting off to sleep. I started dreaming of my father and mother, its a memory?

my dad walks into the room "y/n lets get some ice cream" "yay" 

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