heartstopper <3

24. <3

Nick's POV
It's been a little over a week since Nellie died. We were supposed to leave to our honeymoon the day after the wedding, but Charlie postponed it. We are leaving tomorrow. I haven't packed yet, and neither has Charlie. I go to the kitchen where Charlie is, and walk up behind him wrapping my arms around his waist and spinning him so he's facing me.

"We need to pack love," I tell him.

"I know, let's go I guess," he says. He looks stressed out. "Char what's wrong?" I ask him.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just worrying about things I don't need to worry about."

"Like what?" I ask him. "I want to help you, and in order to do that I need to know what's bothering you."

"Kids."

"What?"

"Do you want kids?" He asks me. He immediately starts tearing up, and he looks at the ground.

"Yeah of course I want kids. I've always wanted kids, but I only want them if you do too. I could be perfectly happy with only you for the rest of my life."

"Yeah I want kids," he pauses. "When?" He asks.

"Um I'm not sure. Not yet, maybe not for a couple years or so?"

"Yeah ok," he sounds disappointed.

"When do you want kids my love? And don't change your truthful answer to make me happy. I want your honest answer please."

"I was thinking kind of soon...like a year at most, but I can wait if you want to."

"I can make a year work," I love Charlie and I want kids with him, why wait.

"What? Are you sure?"

"Char I'm positive. I am absolutely terrified of being a dad, my dad left and was horrible after that, so I don't have much of a role model, but I will love our kid and nothing can change that."

"Nicky you'd be a great dad. You take amazing care of me, and you would do the same for our kid. If anything I would be the mess up parent. I don't think I would be the best role model. What if our kid copies my eating habits leading to their own eating disorder, or self harm like me."

"Char, you are an amazing role model. We would have tears until that could happen, and you will just continue to get better through those years. We can figure that out as we go okay? You are going to be an amazing dad, and you are an amazing husband."

"I love you Nicky. Let's go pack, sorry for bringing up such a heavy conversation."

"Hey no S word. I'm glad we talked about it. When we get home from our honey moon we can look into the process, but for now let's focus on the beach ahead of us. I love you so much, we will be amazing parents." I give him a kiss on the top of his head breathing in his scent. I have never been more excited for anything more than I am for our future.

513 words

Guys I am miserable, but I couldn't help but write!! I have some news and I'm not sure who actually cares, so message me on here if you want to know, but this is my worst chapter yet, but I am still in the hospital. I am exhausted in every way possible, but thank you sm for being patient while I figure things out!! ❤️❤️