The Wrong Woman

54. Dhruv

Being on good terms, I'd figured it would be okay for me to show a little bit of affection. It was only normal.

Or at least, that's what I thought. Watching her squirm away or even hide left me stupidly standing behind. It was odd. She'd reacted in this very same way when I'd walked in during one of her showers.

I could understand that a little bit more than I understood her reaction to my affections now. If she'd told me what she wanted then this whole doubt I was having could be relieved. I didn't push it that night though, when it was obvious that she didn't want to talk about it and threw the covers over her head.

"Do you want to wait?" I asked her the next morning in the kitchen. She was making cups of coffee while I was making some eggs. Mom and dad were still asleep, so it was really the perfect opportunity to talk without getting interrupted.

"Wait for what?" I narrowed my eyes. She was either deliberately acting naive or she really had no clue to what I was referring to. It had to be the former. It didn't make sense otherwise. She was a grown, married woman. It wasn't that hard to figure out.

"You know what, Rani." She only shrugged, and my breath came out through my nose in a sharp exhale. "You can tell me if you're not ready. It's not a big deal. We've lasted this long without it, I think we can go longer."

She drew in her bottom lip before turning her back to me to hide the deep blush on her cheeks. It wasn't everyday I had the pleasure of seeing Rani flush and shy away. I was so used to her telling things to me straight and being bold—that was what had attracted to me the very first time we'd met. She cleared her throat. "Coffee?"

This really was like a different Rani, I thought in awe. My arm slid around her waist to grab the cup on the table in front of her and she jerked, nearly spilling hers over.

"Careful," I mumbled and she visibly shivered. I chuckled and moved away, taking a sip. It was lightly sweet; just the way I liked it.

"You two are up and at it already hmm?" a voice floated a few feet away from us. I didn't need to look away from the eggs to see that it was dad.

"You interrupted us just when it was getting good," I joked. "Breakfast'll be ready in a second."

"Perks of having a cook for a son." He stretched his arms out and seated himself at the dining table, scrolling through his phone. Despite his earlier words, though, I found myself glancing at Rani who refused to look at me the entire morning.

My jaw clenched and the muscle near my eyebrow twitched. Had things really changed or was I just projecting my hopes and desires for how I wanted this relationship to turn out?

***

A morning walk was the only way I'd be able to get rid of these circulating thoughts and doubts in my head. I plugged my earphones in and zipped up my jacket as I headed out the front door.

"Wait, Dhruv." My mom waved Rani out with me who looked as confused as I did. "Take Rani with you. She's going to go get some groceries for me anyway."

"Um, I think I'll go later," she said. There she went again, acting like she didn't want to be near me. One minute she was hot, the next she was cold. What the hell?

"I'm heading that way," I told her. "The store's right across the neighbourhood."

She nodded but her face was still twisted. I waited for mom to close the door before taking one earphone out, letting it hang over my shoulder. "If you really don't want to walk," with me, I added, "you can take a rickshaw. Or the car if you're starting to feel more like yourself."

She took one long look at the red Mitsubishi hanging out under the front near the steps, and shook her head. Her black strands flew across her face, almost whipping it back and forth. "N-No, I think I'm good. I'll walk with you."

We headed out the sloping land that my parent's built their house on before making our way down the empty streets. The mist covered most of the path ahead of us but the sun was still high in the air this early; its warmth was enough to melt the doubts away, even for a moment.

Neither of us said anything and there was a human sized gap between the both of us. I really needed to get to the bottom of this before I went crazy. "Is there something wrong?" This was a question I've been asking way too many times since she's had the accident.

"No, of course not," came the quick, short reply. Too curt to be genuine and too enthusiastic to be cold. Her arms were swaying lightly beside her and she forced her head to turn left and right, deliberately avoiding my eyes. An ache in my chest told me that I badly wanted to reach out and hold her slender, fair hand in mine. My fingers twitched and I nearly relented when she, as if she could sense it, crossed her arms. Curling my fingers into my palm, I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jacket instead.

So she wasn't ready. If only she felt comfortable enough around me to tell me that.

I thought she was.

When we had gotten to the store, I stopped her. "Rani—"

"I'll actually take a rickshaw home," she said. "You don't need to wait for me."

With that, she left, leaving me standing there watching her back like an idiot.