Spectrum (Frerard, Petekey)

1: Just This Morning I Said 'No I Can't Start Another Fic Or I Will Just Die'...

If school was based more on how fucking amazing your butt looked and less on actual academia, Gee Way would be a straight A student, and then perhaps then there could be just one straight thing about her.

Well admittedly, she was pansexual and not just exclusively into girls, but the pun worked better if such a small detail was overlooked momentarily.

Gee Way was your 'typical' sixteen year old girl: she spent at least four years in the bathroom every morning, because it wasn't like she'd had all that much practice when it came to make up, she was totally obsessed with a certain cute band member, with posters plastered all over her bedroom walls, she'd severely fucked up her sleeping schedule and all with the help of the world renowned, life ruiner that is tumblr dot com, and then there was of course, that.

That.

Because Gee Way wasn't a typical teenage girl, or at least not as much as she'd liked to be, and the revelation of that came every time she faced her reflection in the morning and glared at her flat chested self, and that, the fucking dick between her legs, and she'd told herself a million times that it didn't matter, but it did, and that was inescapable.

Because technically, Gee was a Gerard and Gerard wasn't a boy, but she faced herself in the mirror each morning and just knew that this body was not somewhere she belonged.

And it wasn't even anyone else's business, but it was, and that was a reality Gee faced every single fucking day of her miserable, high school ruled existence; people at school were assholes, and surprisingly enough, despite it being a fucking school, were uneducated assholes.

But then again, not once in Gee's life had she ever been told what to do about dysphoria or even what the difference between gender and sex was, and oh god, boy or girl, and then, dear god, there was the whole black and white sexuality bullshit: gay or straight, and of course gay was bad and straight was good, and there was nothing else, no others, no alternatives, no fucking spectrum.

Because that was what it was, a spectrum.

And Gee had found herself in the pansexual area of the sexuality spectrum, and the female one of the gender spectrum, and as such, in the eyes of many, she just didn't exist, or was possessed or something, although, those did tend to be more of the dramatic ones.

Your average kind of generic asshole would usually opt for 'faggot' or 'pretty boy', or just a plain old 'gay', but seriously, who the fuck decided it was cool to use sexuality as an insult?

Of course, Gee wasn't stupid enough to expect that she could just turn up to school in a skirt when she had a dick underneath it and for no one to say a fucking thing, but she really had been hopeful that people would just shut the fuck up after she'd explained it to them, but no, as we all know, your own gender is magically the fucking business of the whole fucking world and privacy doesn't exist, at least not in high school, anyway.

Gee had quite a few trans friends online, mostly from tumblr, whom she talked to on a pretty regular basis, but never in her fucking life she had a real life encounter with anyone who wasn't straight and cis, and quite honestly, she felt like she'd fucking seen it all.

Things had been a little different at home when it came to her gender, but it wasn't exactly plain sailing and Gee just honestly didn't know why she'd expected it to be so in the first place.

She was fifteen, and it was June when she'd told them - it was a Wednesday and Gee's head was buzzing with nerves and the facts from the last hour of history still drifting around in her head like wisps, not yet been absorbed or discarded by any actual brain matter, just there. She'd sat her mum, her younger brother Mikey, who had been twelve at the time, now thirteen, and her dad down and faced them all with an awkward kind of nervous smile. Her dad had cracked some awkward joke about him being glad she was a boy and therefore this couldn't be an 'I'm pregnant moment' and he'd laughed to himself as Gee's heart had plummeted, and Mrs Way had told him to shut up, and Mikey sat there looking kind of confused because he was just a little too young to fully get the joke.