Spectrum (Frerard, Petekey)

19: Who Needs Anyone When You Have A Dog?

Gee had tried her best to avoid all contact with her parents since the incident involving her grandmother and Mikey, well, breaking the illusion of being the 'perfect child', which was, of course, entirely her fault, as things tended to be.

And as Frank found himself busy, with something Gee sincerely hoped didn't involve his drug dealer, or really anything illegal, and Lindsey out with some girl she'd met last week who she definitely had absolutely zero feelings for, Gee found herself sat out in Alicia Simmons' back garden, with Alicia herself, and Alicia's dog.

Alicia's dog was certainly something special, the dog was still insanely cute despite being the dumbest thing in existence and with one those weird messed up crazy dog faces, that made her very unique.

Alicia said she loved her dog more than anything but she was a fucking gross looking idiot; she also said that was precisely why she'd called her dog Jessicka. Jessicka, however, didn't quite agree with Alicia's reasoning there, but Gee, much like everyone else, found it rather amusing.

"I really should get another dog." Alicia seemed to think aloud, focusing upon the sky: in that odd stage where the sun had pretty much set, but the sky wasn't quite dark yet - just an odd shade of dark blue grey. "I mean, who needs a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, or anyone, when you have a dog?"

Gee nodded, scarlet lips parting into a smile, "I should get a dog."

"Yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure you could count on your dog not to get addicted to cocaine." Alicia had no chill whatsoever, and Gee found herself utterly taken aback each time she was reminded of the aforementioned.

"Yeah..." She let out a sigh, "I could," because yeah, Alicia had a point - there was no way around that, "can't count on a dog to understand me and what it's like being trans - that's something only Frank can do, I reckon."

"You also can't fuck a dog- well you can, but you really shouldn't." Alicia burst into laughter, leaning forward to rub Jessicka's head, Jessicka as in the dog, and not the person.

"Me and Frank haven't fucked yet." Gee added, sighing a little.

"So you can't fuck Frank either! Do you think maybe your boyfriend is actually a dog-"

"It's not him with the fucking thing," Gee interrupted her with a sigh, biting down on her lip and smudging her lipstick in the process, but it was dark, so whatever, "it's me. I really, I'm really fucking uncomfortable with my body, like naked."

"So you're giving up sex because you're scared of what someone who's in love with you is gonna think, like seriously when you're fucking someone, it's far more focused upon the actual fucking than exactly how good you look naked, or how good you think you look naked-"

"I get that, Alicia, I just..." Gee cursed a little as she leaned back against the wall, "it's the whole trans thing, I look like a dude when I take my clothes off. I have a cock, no boobs, no curves, and I can't hide that without clothes."

"I'm pretty sure Frank knows that, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't care, and if he did, he probably would have let you know by now, and anyway, surely, he'd get the same about his body, like you're in it together?" Alicia brought up a good point, as she often did, but Gee shrugged it off, continuing to blush.

"I'm not comfortable with myself at all - I can't look myself in the mirror naked, let alone let someone else look at me naked, and for like a long amount of time, and then there's the logistics of things, like I'm the one with a dick here, so I have to fuck him, and I-"

"Hey, hey, hey, penetrative sex is not the only way to have sex. Also strap ons, also oral sex. There's a million ways around it, and hey who says you have to have typical sex - it's just about having fun and orgasms, and you do that however you feel best." Alicia paused for a moment, "it's not really about the positions thing, is it? You just... you can't bare to see yourself naked, or let him see you naked."