sugar〻oneshots

mother

sorry this is short i didnt want to drag it out Enjoy 453 words of Sirius Black being manipulated

As much as he'd like to, Sirius can't honestly say there were no good moments.

Sometimes, once every couple years, if he was lucky, things would line up. If he went long enough avoiding making her truly angry, and Regulus and Orion were gone, and she was in a good mood-if the conditions were perfect, he would get a moment with her.

He could count every single one on his fingers, and recall them word for word. They were all pretty much the same.

His favorite-in other words, the one he cried about the longest-she had called him out for dinner. Regulus and Orion were gone, on some men of the house trip that Sirius was not allowed to go on, because at this point they were trying to make the other purebloods forget he existed. Basically, Sirius was scared shitless, because his dad and brother were sometimes the only ones who would get Walburga to have mercy on him.

He remembers he had put on this magic numbing cream he stole from Remus (and then left all the galleons he had out of guilt), in the hopes it would help just in case, braced himself, and then he went downstairs.

She was waiting for him in the dining room. He remembers very clearly, because he got all the way to the open doors and she didn't even send him back for wearing his "casual wear."

At this point, he was pretty sure he was trembling waiting to see what this was about. He stopped in front of her in the doorway, about to apologize for whatever he had done, and then-

She had placed her hand on his cheek. Sirius doesn't know if he breathed for at least five minutes afterward. And he is still not sure how, but he forced himself to look into her eyes because he knew she'd get angry if he didn't.

Walburga was smiling at him. He cannot remember a single other time she looked at him like that.

"You are beautiful, Sirius. I wish you would behave." And then she smoothed his hair. Almost the way James' mum did, when he visited. Only a bit stiffer. "I know you have it in you to be good. It's harder for you, but I know you can. I wish you would try."

Somehow, he does not tell her that he has been trying his entire life, but whenever he's good she hates him. If he was silent it would make her love him for a moment longer.

She doesn't, though. Her hand drops from his face and snaps for a house elf. She doesn't speak another word to him for the rest of the night.