sugar〻oneshots

first kiss

someone better notice all the song references in this also why am i so fucking bad at endings....

Remus hates parties almost much as he does full moons, but parties the night after the full moon are hell on earth.

Especially when your friends are too busy pining after girls or snogging strangers.

Then Remus remembers he has the power to end parties whenever he wants. So he does with a "Sorry, Prongs, prefect duties," and "Fuck you too, McKinnon, go cuddle your girlfriend."

After picking up a few bottles (and leaving the rest to whoever wakes up first), Remus is about to go back to the dorm when he sees Sirius standing in front of the window... dancing. His hands are above his head, a bottle of firewhiskey held loosely in one. He looks kind of stupid but also kind of hot, with his eyes closed and his head tilted like that.

"Pads, are you alright?"

Sirius whirls around, his eyes wide and scared. They soften when he recognizes Remus and he slurs, "I'm fiiine," as he stumbles a few steps to fall on the sofa.

Remus looks at the stairs to the dorm longingly. But then he looks back at Sirius, and the firelight has him glowing warm and he's giving this smile so soft Remus can pretend Sirius thinks he's pretty. So of course, he sits next to him.

They sit silently for a minute, other than Sirius hiccuping. Then his hand suddenly flies to Remus' thigh (causing the latter's heart to stop) and sits there.

"D'you ever wonder if anyone really likes you?"

Remus blinks a few times. "Literally everyone in school loves you, S-"

Sirius cuts him off with a loud snort. "They think 'm hot. And 'm n-I'm not complaining 'bout it but sometimes I wish someone cared about me."

He doesn't think Sirius has ever opened up like this before, so he stays silent.

"You've gotta be real horrible to make your parents hate you," he slurs, one hand curled around the neck of his firewhiskey. "And it's like, if people who love you by default hate me that much why would someone so... good... ever love me?"

Remus clears his throat. He doesn't know what to say or who Sirius is talking about but he doesn't need to say anything, because Sirius is staring at him with his eyes intense and too clear for someone so drunk. Remus' breath hitches in his throat, but Sirius' face softens as he slowly lowers his gaze.

"You look so nice in that shirt," he mumbles, his hand moving and clumsily tugging at Remus' collar. He hiccups. "It's sad 'cause it just hurts."

Sirius stares at Remus' neck for a moment too long. Then, finally, he looks back up and says, "I'd do anything for you." His voice is clear and Remus starts to wonder if Sirius as drunk as Remus thinks he is.

But then he leans in a little bit and Remus can smell the alcohol on his breath. There's no way Sirius is sober because then they're kissing, and Remus is dizzy and his stomach hurts. It's not real.

And he knows he should pull away, because Sirius is drunk and it's not fair to
take advantage of him but he tastes like firewhiskey and mint chapstick. Remus can't pull away. Until he does. He grabs Sirius' shoulders and pushes him off even as he leans forward slightly to chase his lips.

Sirius' eyes get a little cloudy. "S-Sorry," he stutters, nearly spilling his drink in his hurry to stand up. "I'm-I've been drinking a lot of... and I'm fucking sorry, moons, I didn't mean it."

Of course you didn't. Sirius doesn't mean anything he does and he sure as hell didn't everything he just said. He was just drunk.

Remus stands up too, and they stare at each other for a moment before Sirius slowly sits back down. "'m gonna stay a while," he mumbles, voice cracking. Remus nods stiffly and forces himself to go to the dorm.

He stays awake all night telling himself, he was just drunk.