That Girl REGINA

chapter 10. , BURIAL

I was speechless. I couldn't predict papa's present condition,
"..papa, .papa, I called looking so furious.
is it still far? The young doctor asked.
"don't worry dear your father will be alright, he won't die, he said, as he doubled the speed in which he drives.

We got to my house finally, knowing well where I had covered this early morning with the jogging and running. He left the car outside as we hurried into the House, our footsteps could be heard so loudly, mine was the loudest, I opened papa's room, my heart melting already, papa was still lying on the bed, still in the position where he was when I left,.. "Papa, I shouted as I cross my legs over, lifting him from his sleeping position, ..doctor, please, help me, I shouted once again knowing well that papa, my very own papa has kicked the bucket, . .
"wait!
he said as he handed a piece of paper to me, it's from your father, he added. I was so tense, the world is definitely on its end, I thought. I glance through the paper

"You have always been my loving Darling" Regina.
this was the first sentence that run through the first line of the paper
" I know you'll weep your eyes out but don't forget to keep your mind out"
"I fathered and I ended
" I have gone to meet those who came before me, but most especially I want you to make me glad before you come meet me".

This was the only remains that papa dropped before he died, I blinked without control as I stare at papa who had just given me the scar of my life by living me alone in this lonely world.

I kept the paper on the cabinet and kept something on top so that it doesn't fly away, I bent low on papa again not accepting for him to die.
" papa,.. Please.. Please, I repeated again as I tried to stop my tears, I looked and I saw the doctor, sobbing too.
"I'm sorry but there is nothing that I can do. I'm sorry that I didn't respond to you on time during the show when you asked for help, he said. He tried to carry me away from papa's body so that he would cover the body.
"leave me, just let me be , get out from my way, I shouted hitting him badly, I hate you, I said, this time around fighting him, when my anger comes, sometimes, I can't control it, I injured the young man, blood was gushing out of his lips already because of my anger, it was then I realized the pain that I had caused him.

He succeeded in covering papa's body, I can't go back and start removing the blanket, loving papa is not by doing so, it's not by fighting those who tried in helping to safe him.
"I'm so sorry, I said realizing the bruises that he has sustained, papa has just given me the most terrifying shock of my life.
I just sat on the floor close to him as I picked up the letter, going through it and imagining ways of resurrecting papa.

The same day, by two in the noon, papa was taken away to the mortuary by the doctor's car, but all this while, I never told William. We never spoke since he left.
network was a problem and something like this is not a texting matter, I can't imagine papa's corpse lying beside me, I am just naive and helpless as they say.
" maybe if I had alerted everyone when papa was about giving up, maybe they would have helped and papa would haven't died.
my heart voiced out, "alerted who exactly?. How many people live close to you?who will you alert? Do you have neighbours? Of course you don't have neighbours. My mouth answered. I am a coward, I said again, shedding another round of tears, maybe if I was still with papa and not leaving him alone may have helped.
I said again shaking and fidgeting vigorously, maybe I'm responsible for papa's death. life is so worthless without you papa, I muttered, I can't forgive myself for letting you slip away, I wasn't wise as I thought.
I am always more stupid when I thought I am wiser, I am such a wise fool running five hundred metre race when papa was dying, why am I always like this?
my brain runs down so easily, so that is how I continued cursing my self till we got to the mortuary.

I sat as I continued weeping , I gazed at the doctor who just went in and called some male workers who helped him to carry the corpse, he came back and told me to follow him.
" for the last time, see your father, he said as he pulled me out of the car, he swayed me in and that was how I saw papa for the last time, I didn't give up on staring at him.
the doctor patted me as I continued to weep uncontrollably.
"Let's bury him today, I told the doctor, he gave me a confused stare.
"why?besides he died today and we are here already! Where will you bury him?rest for a while, maybe next month or so then we talk about burial, he said sternly, No, capital No, I said confidently.

I know what I'm saying, this has happened in the past, when my mama died, I almost died too, because her coffin was in the house with us--
"but wait, he said, his isn't't going to be in the house with you.
" you may be right with your own perspective but that doesn't change mine, I said rudely. I called some workers, telling them to take the body back into the car.
"provided you know exactly what you are doing, I can't give up in helping, the young doctor said.
We all four entered the limousine, the doctor himself didn't give up in his expert drive, he drove carefully and speedily, I may have wrong, I started thinking again, the doctor has been nice but I don't really know what's manipulating me.
I talked so rudely to him, this is not you Regina.

By four in the evening we came to a halt in the front of the gate, the doctor came out and opened the gate and he drove in, the guys that followed us limped out of the limo to the boot as they carried the body. follow me, I said, waving my hands to them and leading them to the garden. The doctor bought the right coffin and the body was laid in.

He would be buried here. I said boldly, my tears all gone this time around,my lineament was doubtful, I was stony in heart, my heart melting and shrinking at the same time.
" I want to get something's, the doctor said as he rushed into his car and the rest I can't predict.

"I will miss you greatly papa, I'm not going to waste your money on funeral, and don't forget to thank mama for me in case you see her, I said, my mouth pressing against the coffin as I rub my hands around the surfaces, from the place I was, I could see the young doctor opening the gate and zooming out.
"where is he going to?he hasn't finished up his help yet, I said, fixing all my attention on the limo, maybe he is still gonna comeback, maybe.
Simon and co digged for minutes, they carried the coffin into the soil, I smile, hiccup and cry at the same time, I went round the garden in search of a beautiful flower to hang on the soil as a beautification.
In some minutes they were done and I found myself placing the flower.
I was disturbed by the doctor's car, I knew he will surely comeback, I fixed my eyes into his direction and I could see him packing some things from the boot, he Carried some bags maybe two or three and he threw them on the pavement. he ran to us, panting heavily, forgive me I'm late he said as he knelt with me, bringing some flowers from his pocket, well you're not late, you came at the right time, I said.

we both planted our various flower on papa's grave echoing the statement
" may your gentle soul rest in perfect peace "
I was surprised at the young doctor reactions to my affairs, his care was too much to explain.
in all the rudeness I gave him, bruises and my annoying words I gave him this morning, he still stood for me, he paid the guys who digged the grave. he did another which I least expected, he wanted to spend some times with me, by the way to sleep alone in the house was my greatest fear, also another stranger boy staying with me is something else, don't you think?

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