Skin Deep ✔️

Chapter six

I wake up to the warm feeling of sunlight against my cheek and sigh at how peaceful waking up in silence is. I keep my eyes closed so that I can enjoy the moment and for a minute I forget where I am and I forget who's bed I'm in. But, if I were at home I definitely would've been woken up to sound of gospel music at eight am. I love my mum but sometimes... I open one eye to be face to face with a wide eyed Isaac.

"AHHHHHH!" I scream, pushing him away from me.

"Morning sunshine." He winks, moving to lay on his back.

"You're a psychopath. Completely and utterly deranged." I say sitting up and yawning. "Why did you do that?"

"Ezra told me to check if you were awake." He blinks at me.

"Checking is peeping your head round the door and making sure I'm still breathing." I inform him. "Checking is NOT staring at me whilst I sleep like you're fucking Joe Goldberg."

He pouts at me. "But you're so pretty."

"That's exactly something Joe Goldberg would say." I roll my eyes.

"He has good taste."

I push him in his chest and sigh as I move to stand up. "Quit flirting with me."

"He cant help it." Ezra chimes in as he walks into the room with a breakfast tray. "Its one of his more annoying habits."

He places the tray on the bedside table and nods expectantly towards it. I look between him and tray with shock. I cant believe he made me breakfast. no one has ever made me breakfast other than my mom on Christmas morning, which is always ackee and bread.

"You made me breakfast?" I ask him.

"Um yeah." He says with a shy grin. "Hope you like french toast."

I love french toast.

"I love french toast." Isaac chimes in. "Where's mine?"

"You don't get one." Ezra sticks his tongue out at him and he whines.

"Toni can I please have some of your french toast." He begs me with puppy dog eyes.

"Don't give in." Ezra tries to push him away. "He is evil."

"Wow a pretty girl sleeps in your bed and suddenly you forget who your friends are." Isaac says giving him his middle finger.

I smile as I watch them bicker back and forth. I eat my breakfast in silence, almost groaning at how good it tastes.

Hey we should go out today." Isaac suggests after he successfully gets Ezra in a headlock.

It seems that it's a normal thing for these boys to fight each other and so I don't comment on it.

"And do what?" I ask him.

"We can go to the cinema." He says moving towards me so that he could lay his head in my lap.

I absentmindedly play with his hair as Ezra walks around busily trying to clean up his room.

"What do you think?" I ask him.

"Sure." He smiles.

"I should probably go home and change though." I say pushing Isaac off my lap. "My mom's gonna kill me."

"Do you want us to come with you?" Ezra offers, pausing from his cleaning.

"No it's okay."  I tell him.

I quickly brush my teeth and change back into the clothes I had on last night. Once my Uber gets here I tell the boys that I'll see them later and head home.

In the Uber I put my earphones in and watch the world pass me by. I think of Ezra and Isaac and smile to myself happy that I've finally made friends.

The car stops and I pay him before getting out. I turn my key in the door and instantly hit with the sound of Mary Mary.

"Mum, I'm home." I try to yell over the music.

She comes cascading down the stairs and gives me a quick hug. "Hi baby."

I move past her and head upstairs to her bathroom but her voice stops me. "Your English teacher called me."

I whisper a silent prayer and turn to look at her. "Really? What did she say?"

"She said you got very upset about something and stormed out of class." She frowns at me. "I've told you about tantrums. i dont want them labelling you as the 'angry black girl' at your fancy as shit school."

"But mum she said-"

"Tonoya i dont care what she said. You know better than to let your emotions get the better of you."

I almost laugh. She's one to talk considering she always lets her emotions get the best of her. At my parents evenings, at my ballet recital and just about anywhere else you could probably think of.

"Yeah okay." I mutter going back up the stairs. "I'm going out in a bit."

"With who?" She calls after me.

I ignore her and head straight to the bathroom. I strip out of my clothes and turn on the shower. Once im inside i feel a sting from the hot water and it calms me. I let it run for God knows how long and do what i do everytime i take a shower because i know no one can hear me. I cry. I cry because i hate my school. I cry because i hate what i look like and I cry because i dont know what Ezra and Isaac want from me. I dont know why theyre being so nice to me when not once have any other kids my age have been nice to me.

All the horrible names Cecilia and everyone else called me when i was younger just came flooding back. Midnight, Blackie, Porch Monkey, Slave e.t.c. they all came flooding back. All the times when i would cry to my teachers and they did absolutely nothing about it. All the times when mum told me to ignore it because i knew why i was here.

I tried so hard to make friends but my efforts never seemed good enough. I wanted to leave the school but mum told me i was better than that, that i was stronger than running away. But am I? I dont know who i am.

"Tonoya, are you okay?" Mum knocks on the bathroom. "You've been in there forever and we only have one bathroom."

"Yeah sorry." I turn off the water and open the window to let the steam out. "I'm coming out now."

"I wrap myself in my towel and walk into my bedroom, closing the door behind me. I pick up my phone to see i have a text from Ezra asking me where I am and I smile texting him back saying I wont be long.

"Where are you going?" Mum asks barging into my room. "Is it a date?"

"Mum! Knock please." I complain.

"What? We have the same bits." She takes a seat on my bed. "Is it a date?"

"No Mum, it is not a date." I roll my eyes walking towards my wardrobe. "Theyre just some friends."

"OK." She says getting up. "Make sure youre home tonight."

"I will." I say.

"And Tonoya." She looks back at me from the doorway.

"Yeah?"

"Be careful with those friends of yours." She says. "When it comes down to it youre the one they'll abandon in a heartbeat. Do you hear me? Youre not like them."

"Yes mum."