Skin Deep ✔️

Chapter Eleven

"You didn't say anything about my hair." I say to Ezra as we lay on the bed in silence.

We're on top of the covers, next to each other. Hands almost touching but not quite.

"What?" He asks.

I repeat myself. "You didn't say anything about my hair."

It's the middle of the night and the thought just popped into my head. I immediately regret it and close my eyes. I feel him shift next to me, his breath tingling on my skin.

"Look at me." He says. I open one eye and he laughs at me. "Properly."

I open both my eyes this time and he smiles at me. He leans over, both hands at the side of my head. His green eyes burning away all of my defences.

"What?" I say.

"I didn't say anything about your hair because I didn't want to risk offending you. Which is stupid I know."

He pauses looking quickly from my eyes to my lips then back up to my face. My breath hitches and I turn my face away from him, looking at the bracelets on his wrist. It's too much for me, every moment I spend with him and he looks at me like that... It's too much.

"I think your beautiful and I think your hair is amazing. It just feels like an extension of you and how exceptional you are. I love it." He whispers to me.

I stare at him and raise an eyebrow. "How could that possibly offend me?"

He tilts his head to the side with a small smile. "Because you didn't ask for my opinion. As long as you're comfortable and you feel beautiful who gives a damn what I think."

"I do." I look away from him again. "I care what everyone thinks."

He looks down at me and he seems sad. "You shouldn't."

"I can't help it." I mumble.

"Can I tell you something?" He asks and I nod. "Back in Boston when I was in the fifth grade my school decided to put on a talent show. All my friends knew that I could play the guitar and expected me to audition. In fact they were about ready to sign me up themselves."

"Did you?"

"No. My dad strongly advised me not to. He told me that it was a complete waste of time and i could be doing something more productive like planning for my future." He says.

I gasp at him. "But you were like what? Ten?"

He nods, laying back down next to me. "I thought that maybe he didn't think I was any good and wanted to stop me from embarrassing him and myself. So I borrowed a guitar from the music room at school and brought it home with me deciding that I was going to play him his favourite song. I spent hours learning the chords to Jessie's Girl and when my dad got home I told him to come to my room."

Ezra stops, closing his eyes for a moment before continuing. "He sat down and I played and sang but not once did he smile. When I finished he thanked me but asked why had I bothered wasting both our time by showing him the song. I mumbled something about the talent show and he took the guitar from me and told me not to bring up the talent show again."

"I'm sorry Ezra." I whisper to him, taking ahold of his hand.

He sighs. "My point is, my dad made sure I didn't get to do the talent show and it was my own fault because I cared too much about what he thought. I wanted to please him and we cant live our lives trying to please other people because it doesn't get us anywhere."

I nod my head and point to the guitars at the opposite side of the room, there were some on the walls and some were on stands on the floor. "Who bought you those?"

"I bought myself some with my allowance, Isaac bought me a few and so did his parents." He explains to me.

"Your dad let you keep them?"

"Claimed it was rude to get rid of them."

"Play me something." I tell him.

He looks over at me and smiles as he gets off the bed. I sit up and watch as he silently chooses a guitar. He picks up a blue acoustic guitar and sits down at the end of the bed.

"What should I play?" He asks me.

"Anything you want."

He starts to strum and for a moment I cant recognise the song until he starts to sing and I can hum along to the lyrics. I realise the song is 'Iris' by Goo Goo Dolls and I smile. He doesn't look at me whilst he plays, he looks down at the guitar in his hands, singing beautifully to the words of the song.

He plays as if the room is empty and it's just him and the guitar in here, as if he's practicing alone and nothing else matters. That's what has me captivated. Not the lyrics he's singing but him. It's as if his soul has become tangible in a way I will never be able to experience or understand.

The song finishes and he blushes, putting the guitar back where it belongs. He climbs back onto the bed and I turn to him, throwing my arms around his neck.

"That was amazing." I tell him.

He chuckles softly, returning the hug. "Thanks."

Ezra lays down on the bed and I rest my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat. He strokes my head softly and as soon as I feel sleep trying to take over he plants a delicate kiss on my forehead and whispers something.

"If only you saw yourself the way I see you. You'd fall in love just like I have."