My Online Boyfriend (18+ YEONBIN FF)

@FENNECFOX (❌)

Soobin's POV:

The tears kept flowing down my cheeks. I was ready to end myself. I wrote my suicide note and left it on my bed. I grabbed my laptop and placed it down on the floor with me.

This is it. I'm done.

I opened up my laptop and went to a random streaming website. I didn't want anyone from school seeing me livestream my death because I knew that they would encourage it. That's how students were at my school. Everything is a joke to them.

I'm a loser and a loner. I don't have any friends. I'm surrounded by many faces in school, but I always feel alone.

I didn't care about living. I never did. I stuck it out because...well I don't know. Ever since my parents died in a car crash, I moved in with my uncle and that was that. They want me to finish high school and get a job so I can make something of myself, but I just don't want to. I don't wanna finish school. I don't wanna get a job. I don't wanna do anything.

My life isn't as bad as I think it is, but the constant bullying for no reason has been getting to me a lot more this year. I'm almost done with high school and this is how I started out the year. It's only been three weeks since school started and I already want to commit.

I sat in my room on the floor with the lights off right after school. My uncle was working so he wouldn't be home for another few hours. That gave me enough time to prepare my death.

I clicked 'start streaming' on the screen and began to talk to myself. I always did random livestreams on Facebook, but that never turned out well. Sometimes people would come in and out and never say a word. Sometimes even trolls happened to pop in and make fun of me. Whether it was my eyes, my ears, the glasses I wore for fun, anything they could do to bash me was entertaining for them. Half the time, students went anonymous on there so I couldn't see who it was trying to hurt me. So I ended up switching to this website because no one ever came in my livestream. I would just talk to myself all the time and answer my own questions regularly.

This time was different. I wasn't on here to talk to myself and pretend to be happy. I was on here to kill myself and finally give people the show they've been wanting this whole time.

"Hey everyone," I said to the screen, choking back my tears.

The title of the livestream was "This Is The End For Me" and many people showed up for it. This many people were excited to see me end myself. Not a single person ever took an interest in my other livestreams, but now everyone wants to watch me die? I feel pathetic.

I kept sniffing back my tears because there were too many rolling down my face.

"I just wanted to say my final farewell to the world. This nasty, nasty world. I'm tired of everything. I'm exhausted from the pain."

Comments started to pour in; every single one of them being cruel.

@sunrisebugsbunnie: hahaha ur lame.

@californiacruiser9727: dude seriously? Do it off camera. Ur triggering others.

@anonrazor: NOBODY CARES. JUST DO IT.

I kept crying while reading the mean and hurtful comments in my head that people were leaving.

By the time I was done with my speech, nobody even cared enough to stay and watch me. That's how fucked up the world is. There were zero people in my stream. Maybe it's better this way. I wouldn't wanna traumatize someone.

I got up and went straight for my uncle's closet and pulled out his gun that he keeps in a box. I came back to my room and immediately cried even harder, tears falling onto the gun. I checked the gun for bullets and closed it right away, pointing it directly to the side of my head. I made sure I was in the camera so that way my death could be recorded, just in case my uncle doesn't find me dead on time. There are days where he doesn't even check on me.