My Online Boyfriend (18+ YEONBIN FF)

@LO$ER=LO♡ER

Soobin's POV:

Months had passed and it was the beginning of May. Prom was just around the corner and all the seniors were stoked. The preparations were unbelievably outstanding and the efforts and hard work of all the students were paying off.

We waited for this. We deserved this. This is our right-of-passage into adulthood. I never thought I would even make it this far. If you asked me at the beginning of senior year if I would be this excited to graduate high school, I probably would've cried and said 'what's the point of all this' to whomever asked. It's my time to shine. One more week until prom and then I graduate the following few weeks later.

Yeonjun has been living with me since my uncle took him in a few months ago and he's been slowly healing from Brandon's abuse. I highly recommended Jiwoong to convince Yeonjun to go back to therapy so that way he could properly heal from his trauma. Surprisingly, Jiwoong offered to give him free therapy until he graduates and I thought that was so nice of him. Mainly, I think it's because he revealed to Taehyun and I that he loved him, but I'm hoping he doesn't take advantage of the situation. Thankfully, Yeonjun agreed and he's been going twice a week for a few weeks now. He's been coming back late, but I wouldn't doubt the process. With school and then therapy after school, he's a busy guy.

Everyone always says trust the process, and I'm trying my best to fully commit to Yeonjun getting better by being there for him and his struggles. However, I've been feeling very alone lately because I only get to see Yeonjun at school during classes and lunch; then at home where he's too focused on homework and nothing else. I guess I don't really get to see him much after all.

Ever since he's moved in, he's become my best friend; I've never had a best friend before.

Although I'm happy for Yeonjun getting help again and taking advantage of his resources, it slightly sets me back mentally because I have no one to help me now. Yeonjun and Daniel have been the most supportive people in my life so far and both of them are going through certain struggles at the moment. Yeonjun is getting therapy from Jiwoong and Daniel has been really depressed lately, which kind of leaves me in a funk. He doesn't wanna talk to me when he's feeling blue.

I've been putting my emotions off to the side to help the people I care about, but in return, I'm getting nothing back. I'm forgetting to take care of myself.

I've offered to drive up to Daniel's house to at least give him company, but he refuses me to see him in a depressed state of mind. And this is the shit I've been talking about. Everything is so surface level with him to the point where I'm not understanding him anymore. He's been so distant lately and wanting to be alone to the point where I don't see myself in his life. If he loves me and always wants to be around me, how come I can't see him when he's feeling like this? Wouldn't you want the person you care for the most to be with you during dark times? It doesn't make sense to me.

Daniel and I went on a date a month ago and he said he would finally show me his face, but he still wasn't ready. I didn't wanna pester him because I knew he was self-conscious and I wouldn't wanna force him to do anything. I wouldn't want someone to do that to me so I would never do it to someone else. It is very annoying because I told Yeonjun I wanted to talk to Daniel first to see where his head was at, but we didn't have a conversation like that at all. In fact, he was really cutesy and even talked so much to the point where I had no room to speak. It was strange.

Obviously, things haven't been going too well with Daniel and I. Sometimes, he won't text me for days and then out of the blue, he's so excited to talk to me. Other times, he'll wanna talk to me all day when I'm busy and then he gets mad when I don't reply right away. Then there are days where he'll only text me once in the morning before school and/or at night and that's it all day long. It's super confusing for me. Why even bother texting me at all? What kind of love is that? Nothing is consistent with him, except the fact that he hasn't shown me his face; he's very consistent with that. I've brought up these issues with him through text, but I swear he brushes them off and only says sorry, as if what he's doing isn't a big deal.