If Only She Knew

39. I am Ariana Johnson

The show must go on

Present time, London...

"You murdered him and you were seen by witnesses. There's a reason you're in a mental asylum right now Ariana though," the Chinese man said calmly, smiling at her. "You don't remember."

Ariana was panting and she couldn't believe it. She would have remember if she killed someone.

"How do you feel that you remember that day your mother was shot in front of you, Ariana? Can you describe that feeling? Don't you feel... hate for the killer, anger?" Was the next question.

"Right now, I am more angry at the fact that I'm being framed. I've been the head detective of the Big B. murders and the killer is still out there-"

"No miss Johnson, we have the Big B. killer. It'll soon be all over, believe me," Wang Lei Zhang said, with a smile. "Also, you think you're not angry and vengeful for your mother's murder because someone tampered with your mind. Can you put two and two now or should I insist?"

"What you're saying is that I killer my father and then the killer erased my memories, isn't it?" Ariana shouted the question, her handcuff still etching on her wrist.

Wang Lei Zhang nodded his head slowly. "Yes, but please calm down Ariana," he said, his voice low as if it held a threat.

"I refuse to believe that I could've done something like that after seeing so much crime within the past two years, and seeing what it does, and dealing with it!" Ariana yelled at the investigator, throwing the comforter aside with her free hand. Tears streamed down her face, and her eyes hurt. Was that all true? Was she really a criminal and didn't even remember it?

"Oh, and that's not even the beginning of it, miss Johnson. Didn't you ever have moments in your life when you felt empty, as if a part of you was missing? As if that isn't all of it?" The interrogator put his hands underneath his chin and leaned forward, watching her intensely. His continuous gaze was discomfiting.

"No," Ariana said honestly. That's what she thought but yet she looked through the inspector and wondered why did she feel a if she was lying.

"No? Ok. Then, did you ever feel you just cannot be completely satisfied or happy? Did you feel, ever in your life that you really, truly loved someone?" Wang Lei Zhang flourished his hands through the air.

Ariana instantly thought of Joseph. Did she love him? Yes. She thought of how distant she had been from him in the last few months, as she was caught up betweeen the dark affairs of the killer, his messages, and the VELLA cases in Scotland. She had to admit that her work had put an ocean of suspense and mystery between them. When she thought of him, her heart hurt, but she couldn't do anything about it then. Her chest was hard with the labor their broken relationship had left behind. She was alone, and she didn't have anyone then.

Tears went on and on, and she couldn't help herself from crying. The interrogator watched her, knowing then he had brokened her. He watched her, knowing that he had to break her completely. He was thinking then that she was the most complicated criminal he had ever dealt with. She couldn't even lie, because she didn't remember.

"So, Ariana? Are you going to answer my question yet?" The investigator stood up and she looked at her. She felt no longer like the smart-mouthed, prestigious and rich Ariana Johnson. She felt like a shard of all that.

"I-" she started but then a terrible, excruciating wave of black, and pain engulfed her entire vision, and she fell back in her pillow. She also felt a terrible pain in her chest ant she saw Simon... Simon Taylor's deep, coercing blue eyes. He smiled at her and said: