i miss you, i'm sorry - lewis hamilton

1. heartbreak

Delilah met Lewis a year and a half ago. Well, no, she was first introduced to him a year and a half ago but they really met six months after. She had always been a close friend to Daniel Ricciardo and her social butterfly self got her to meet every driver on the grid the moment she was invited to a race. So, she met him then. But the ten-year difference between them was, at the time, the reason they didn't try to befriend the other.

When they saw each other again, it was almost a year after their first introduction and they never had more than a polite conversation. Both of them were invited to the Dior Haute Couture show at the Paris Fashion Week and went alone. It's intimidating a fashion show, even for a multiple time world champion. Delilah was relieved when her eyes landed on the person sat next to her. It was the first real conversation they had. 

After many more and a few dates, Lewis finally asked her to be his girlfriend. Everything was perfect.

°°°

She couldn't meet his gaze. How could she ? She just told him, after a year of love and tenderness that she didn't love him anymore. She lied obviously. It was impossible not to love the man standing in front of her. He was the sweetest and most caring human being. And right now, seeing him with teary eyes was too hard, too painful. He, who usually was  the one to lighten her spirit, was looking at her with pure heartbreak. She hated herself.

But she had to. She didn't believe it at first, but the endless comments on their relationship and how she was using him, and hurting him and stopping him from performing at his best made her believe he would be better off without her. Deep down, she knew it was stupid. But she didn't want to be the one stopping him from reaching his dream. She saw how he felt after losing last year's championship. A part of her believed it was because of her. She didn't want to, but she had to. She wanted him to be happy, and nothing made him happier than racing and winning a race. She wouldn't be the one to hold him back.

Delilah Jones had to break Lewis Hamilton's heart.

"Deli, you can't do that... please..." his tone was desesperate.

"I'm so sorry Lewis, I don't love you anymore." she lied.

"That's not true ! Tell me the truth please ! Don't lie to me when you're breaking my heart !"

She knew he deserved the truth. So she told him "You need to be focused on your carrier, you need to be 100% ready for the upcoming season. I won't be the one to hold you back, to weight you down. I want you to success and I know it won't happen if I stay."

He stared at her for a moment, processing what she just told him before replying in a whisper "but I need you..."

She finally met his gaze and said "You don't...".

Delilah then took her suitcase and looked at him one last time, her heart clenching at the sight of tears running down his cheeks, regretting her choice. But she wanted what was the best for him, no matter if she was in his life or not.

Once the door of his appartement in London was closed, she broke in tears.