My Forever and Always (The Phantom of The Opera)

Chapter 30- If It's Meant To Be

(Credits for cover image to the artist, Tanya Anor)

Clarissa's POV

My hands were dead cold, like as cold as giving Olaf a body massage. My legs were wobbly as if I just got off a roller coaster. Also, I must acknowledge French 19th century liquor was doing me no good, it's probably combusting my liver as I breathe. I have to warn Aziel of not dying of alcohol poisoning before we make it back home. Because ever since I woke up I felt hungry and weak yet I could not even stomach the smell of food. I feel like I'm seeing things in my peripheral and I've been disoriented most of the time. I huffed and squared my shoulders, because I am damn sure about one thing, I can't control my emotions anymore. I can't act like none of this bothers me. I can't pretend to be a bystander when I'm anything but that. I can't stay passive when every inch of me begs to run, run into this mess head first. I can't act like I don't care about him when I've never in my life cared for anyone the way I've cared for him. I am not the most self-respecting person if I go back to the underground lair after everything that has happened. Maybe this is where we as humans strike the balance of rationality and emotions. I've stayed confident, strong and held my head high with dignity for a long time, like I should. Yet now I'm ready to be vulnerable, this once.

Third Person POV (edited this in later because it helps in expressing characters more efficiently)

Clarissa slowly walks in to the Underground Lair, in a black dress, her brown, unbound hair cascading down her waist. Her face had a solemn expression yet her eyes where gleaming with multiple emotions, ready to break through any moment. She was also confused, because her actions right now won't be the most rational, but she gave in. She had enough of sleepless nights thinking of 'what ifs'. She spent a good decade crying for a man who every passing day felt like a distant dream. She stayed awake the whole night this man took his rightful love to his world of darkness and music. She always felt that she had a claim of that world because she saw him in a light that no one could. She felt bitter when another woman was escorted passionately into this world.

She thought, by this time Christine would be back to the dorms, narrating her ordeal of last night while most people except Madame Giry would brush it off as an anxiety induced nightmare. Raoul's mind would finally be at ease when he finds Little Lotte safe and sound again, for him to protect. Aziel would get through his first night of time-travelling and staying in 19th century France, and will complain of his hangover till noon. The hungover Parisians and Opera workers would get back on the track for their cyclic work week.

Amidst the not so mundane day, nobody would hear or see Erik, who was trapped alone with his turbulent thoughts. He had finally reached out to the girl he has been teaching and pining over for so many years. Yet one look at his horrific mug made of nightmares, she fled, like everybody does.

Erik sat near his organ, his hands laid flat on his thighs, his gaze fixed at a flickering candle in front of him. His tears never stopped. He had sobbed, screamed, threw things around and when he was tired, he sat and silently cried. It has been years since he cried again. Though his mind was in a haze over the reason for his tears. Was this caused by yet another person scared of his hideous features, because he had always expected it. He knew that's how Christine would react, maybe not so soon. But he knew, and she would have to learn to love the man underneath the beast. Then what or rather who was he crying over?

Erik could hear faint shuffling of fabric behind him but he was too deep in his mental turmoil to pay attention. Clarissa walks towards his turned back and musters up the courage to speak his name, loud and clear.

"Erik"

It slipped off her mouth like a beautiful melody. Erik looked up and turned back quickly, then stared blankly, proceeded with rapidly blinking and shaking his head, like her being here couldn't be real.