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➜ "could you stop fucking about and just give me my weed? god damn it suna, why're you being so difficult?"

"like i said before, money first and then weed.. it's not that hard to understand (y/n)." he crossed his arms.

it was now christmas eve and you hadn't heard from or spoken to suna since the facetime incident, awkward was an understatement. you had texted him this morning to pick up a gram of weed like you always did but it was obvious that things would play out a little differently today.

"i thought i didn't have to pay anymore?" you replied.

"that was before, not now." suna cleared his throat. "now, run me my money."

"why're you acting like this?" you frowned. "i thought we made a deal that-"

"why am i acting like this?" suna scoffed. "you expect me to be chill after your little boyfriend gave me a visual of you giving him head and you literally said i'm dead to you?" he shook his head. "i thought you'd be a little smarter than this (y/n)."

suna was certainly not about to start with you today.

"do you really wanna go there with me suna?" you furrowed your brows. "because i swear, i have the time today."

"be my guest." he shut the front door, leaving you both outside on the front porch.

you took a deep breath. "i told you how i felt and you took advantage of my feelings, i let you trample and toy with my heart all for nothing. how do you think it feels to watch the person you're in love with fuck a girl you hate? and to make matters worse you didn't even tell me.. i had to find out for myself, with the way you were acting you made it out to be that we had something there but we clearly didn't- the moment clarisse came into the picture you made your intentions clear and i should've known from the beginning that i was just your little fuck toy to satisfy your horny needs whenever you got high. i even opened up to you about how badly my ex treated me and you did the exact same thing but even worse, how do you think that makes me feel suna?"

suna stayed silent for a moment, despite you confessing that one time he showed up to your home he had no idea your feelings for him were this strong. and to be honest after a few days of reflection, he'd realised that he indeed did fuck up no other girl could even compare to the way you made him feel both physically and mentally.

"how could i put my trust in someone who's already caused this much damage and we weren't even in a relationship?" you added.

"look, i know i fucked up and whatever i say next is gonna sound like bull shit to you but i've always had a hard time expressing my emotions- yes i know that still isn't an excuse for the things i did but it wasn't until we stopped speaking that i realised how much you really do mean to me, and although that doesn't excuse me hooking up with clarisse, trust me when i say she's not even in the picture right now and never was." suna took a deep breath.

"the truth is, i really am in love with you (y/n) and it unfortunately wasn't until someone else made you theirs that i realised that, i'll do whatever it takes to prove to you that you're the only girl i want and it'll always be you." he confessed.

those words sounded awfully similar but all you could do was stare, after all this time he really did feel the same way but failed to show it. unfortunately for him though it was too late. you were in a happy relationship and although your feelings for suna weren't gone completely, you couldn't see anything changing that.

you let out a sigh. "in all honesty suna, i don't know what you want me to say."

"i don't want you to say anything, i just wanted to let you know and i'm sorry for making you feel like shit because i didn't know how to express myself." he replied.

"i'll never know if i can fully trust you with you and clarisse living under the same roof and i'd rather not go through that heartache again." you paused. "but that shouldn't be any of my concern now, i think we'd just be better off as friends."

suna hummed in agreement. of course you wouldn't break up with kenma just for his sake, he didn't know what he was thinking but at least he was on calm terms with you now. suna would much rather you both remain friends than have no contact with you at all.

though it would be hard for him to get used to you and kenma dating and all. just knowing that kenma had beat him to the opportunity of becoming your boyfriend pissed him off and he had no one to blame for it but himself.

"i understand and respect your decision." suna nodded. "but i don't want any conflict between us anymore, it was lowkey driving me insane."

"same but what's done is done, now come here and give me a hug." you smiled and held your arms out.

suna embraced and held onto you tightly, this was the first time he had touched you knowing that you were someone else's and he honestly didn't know how to feel about it. one thing he knew for sure though was that one way or another, he would get you back.

now more than ever, suna knew that he couldn't be reckless with his decisions anymore.

he pulled away and held the plastic black bag in front of you, flashing a faint smile as he did so.

"here's your weed, take it and make the most of your night."

"thank you suna, i hope you have a good christmas and i'll see you at tanaka's new years party." you spoke.

"you too, goodnight (y/n)."

"night rin."

and with that you made your way back home, letting out both a sigh of relief and frustration. you were happy in your current position with kenma but couldn't help but wonder how differently things could've played out if suna had just been straight up with you.

though with christmas tomorrow, you wanted nothing more than to be happy so this whole boy drama would simply have to wait.

"why can't i ever catch a break, man?" you sighed to yourself.

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