51 Shades of Mumu

Chapter 7

    Friday came faster than you could say "men", and my brain was hastily turning to a massive pile of mush. This was Friday. The Friday. The day that Gorden would finally meet my family.  But I wasn't sure about whether I wanted that to happen. Sure, Candy could be decent, and my mom was sweet enough…but there was no way I could allow Gorden near my dad, who would most definitely stuff curry down my new boyfriend's throat in a horrid attempt to be hospitable. Not to mention that we were expecting guests. Being as awkward as he was, I doubted Gorden would be able to handle guests and my family all in one night. He'd end up with an aneurism for sure.

    And then there was Andre. Elusive, seductive, mysterious Andre. What would I do about him?  I hadn't seen him around since the day Lydia hit him with a door, but he hadn't left my mind once. And Candy's advice resonated with me every second of every day. I had to be with Andre. I just had to. I wanted him all over me in a way I could never imagine Gorden being. After all, Gorden was too sweet, too kind. There had to be some kind of spiciness to this whole saccharine relationship…

    And I knew exactly how to get it.

*

    "CANDY! Put on some decent clothes, wouldya?" My dad shouted vociferously as my sister appeared at the top of the stairs. The entire family was in complete turmoil with the thought of visitors.  

    And I hadn't even mentioned Gorden yet.  

    "Dad, please. This is fine." She floated down the stairs in a long sleeve cheetah print body con dress which, for Candy, was way past modest. Turning to me, she asked, "Mumu, this is okay, right?"

    "Uhh…I guess." Honestly, I couldn't have cared less about Candy's outfit. As long as she looked like a decent, normal person, I was perfectly content. It was the embarrassment I was more worried about. 

    The smell of ginger eggplant curry wafted form the kitchen an hour later as I made a hopeless attempt to do my homework. The smell was so poignant, in fact, that even after locking myself in my room, my head was spinning.

    Or was that just the thought of possibly dumping Gorden for Andre?

    Suddenly, my brand new phone, which had been a birthday present from Candy, began to vibrate.  Nonononono. What if it was Gorden? Was he at the door? No way in hell was my dad welcoming my baby into the house. For that matter, I didn't want anyone welcoming him into the house. Did he even have to know we were home?  

    The damn phone vibrated again.

    I walked over to it and gingerly picked it up, afraid to read the screen…only to find out that it was a text from Lydia.

Lydia B: YOU WILL NEVER GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED

Mumu: What?

Lydia B: Some random dude from my math class just tried to grind on me; DO I LOOK LIKE GRINDING MATERIAL? NO. NO NO NO HELL NAW.

    I had completely forgotten that Lydia was at the annual school dance. Personally I thought it was way too overrated to attend, but Lydia, being the outgoing freak that she was, had decided to go. And now random guys were grinding on her. Really now, who was to blame?

Mumu: What's his namee?

Lydia B: Hoytt or some crap like that. HOYTT QUIGLEY. THAT'S IT. BITCH IS GOING DOWN.

    I thought of what Candy had told me about Andre; suddenly, Lydia's freakout seemed nothing but immature. It was a school dance. What did she expect? He was a freshman too; clearly he would try and dance with the first person he recognized.  

Mumu: Don't attack him :O lo0l Just brush it off.  What if he's a nice person? (:

Lydia B: Agh whatever. I'm getting food~ OH OHOHOHOHHHH How's the dinner going? Is Gorden being brilliant for your parentals?

Mumu: NO!  I'm hiding in my room. Gorden's not here yet and…all I can think about is andre D: HELP

Lydia B: Andre? As in the crazy guy I almost killed? WAT

Mumu: yes…didnt i tell u about him?

Lydia B: You have some serious explaining to do on monday. Right now, granola bars >

Mumu: Whats >

Lydia B: GRANOLA BARS OVER EVERYTHING GOODBYE