51 Shades of Mumu

Chapter 16

    Although the talent show was just last week, this Friday marked yet another school-wide event, the opening of the autumn play, Romero & Julietisha: A Ghetto Love Story. All week, I was ever so lonely; Lydia had been cast as one of the characters, Faeleb was playing drums for the music, Ronan was part of the set decoration team, while Kigurl was in the lights and tech crew. It was dreadful to not have as much of the attention that I was used to, and I mostly spent my time avoiding Hoytt, who trailed behind me like a rabid, chocolate-colored German Shepard hungry for some delectable treats. I couldn't just tell him to leave me alone; it would break his sensitive, MLP-loving heart. Yet I couldn't stand him any longer. I longed for the tall, tan, and handsome Zenphen Hale to rescue me from the clutches of parasitic men.

*

    On the night of the play, I managed to sneak in backstage with my all-black attire. My eyes immediately locked with those of Zephen's, those dark, muddy orbs that resembled the rocks in my heart. He shot me a smile before returning to a conversation with some other low-class sophomores, a smile that entered my heart like a flaming, manure-covered arrow.

    The backstage area was swarming with melodramatic thespians, conceited artistic freaks, faux-hardcore musicians, and over-stressed techs. I found Lydia by the food table, dressed in her costume, Apple Bottom jeans and boots with the fur.

    "Hey, Lydia. How're you doing?" I asked innocently, shoving cupcakes and fruit and assortments of chips down my endless pockets.

    "AWESOME," she bellowed at me. "A bit nervous, too..."

    "Where are the others?"

    "Well, Kigurl is beating up some kid who effed up one of the lights, and Faeleb has constipation. I think Ronan is taking her Tumblr break..."

    At the corner of my eye, I saw Zenphen inching nearer, talking to nearly everyone he passed by. This was my cue to start talking. "Yeah, and he totally ditched me! Left me out in the cold! Abandoned me! I don't know what to do! I'm in such a slump. I don't know if I can go on like this!" I put the back of my hand on my forehead for effect.

    "What the Hell are you talking about?" Lydia asked.

    "Now I don't have anyone to accompany me to the Spice Village! I'll have to eat there alone after the show! How depressing is that? Then I'll leave...alone. And I'll walk home...alone. And then I'll go to bed...alone. Oh, what a miserable life!" I wailed. I then whispered to Lydia, "Play along!", while motioning to Zenphen.

    Just as I was about to go off about how lonely and depressed I was feeling, I felt a tap on my shoulder, a tap that sent quivers down my body. A tap that could send rabbits mating. I turned around and found myself looking up at Zenphen Hale.

    "Hey...you're Mumu, right?" He started in a low, sensuous voice. "I heard about you."

    "Have you?" I started seductively, flipping my hair back. "What have you heard?"

    "Well, you went out with like three guys in one month..." My heart dropped. Was that a good thing or bad thing? "I think that's...sexy." We gazed at each other, and I could feel him undressing me with his eyes. I knew at that moment, we were meant to be. "Say, you need someone to go with you to the Spice Village after the show?"

    "Yeah, I do. It's dark out there...we girls don't do well in the darkness...we need  big, strong men to guide us...to protect us from predators..."

    "WELL I NEVER!" Lydia exclaimed behind me.    

    "THAT IS SO NOT RIGHT!" I then heard Ronan complain. When did she get here?

    They both stomped away, ranting furiously about how degrading my comment was.

    "Anyways..." Zenphen redirected. "I can, you know, come with you."

   "Really?" I asked. I felt my heart swelling up and bursting into a million pieces, the confetti of my love spreading throughout my body. "That'd be wonderful!"

    "So just wait for me outside the school, okay?" I nodded. We stared at each other once again, and I dreamed of what he'd be like in bed. No, Mumu, those are naughty thoughts! But I couldn't help it. He was so delicious. "Listen, the show's gonna start soon. I'll see you later." With that, he galloped away, but he also galloped into my heart.

*

    The show was just awe-inspiring. I couldn't help but to cry during the twerk battle between Romero, Tyrone, and Mercury; Tyrone and Mercury died for being too bootylicious, and I felt the pain on a personal level. But for much of the show, I was paying attention to Zenphen, who sensually strummed his guitar with his long, snake-like fingers during the most emotional of scenes. For some reason, our love was like that of Romero and Julietisha. I don't know how, but it was. We were destined for great things.