Chapter 15- Carnet

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I could hear the bustle and excitement as I stood just outside the ballroom with the other four potential Luna's and the she-wolf who'd led us all downstairs.

I could see the nerves on those around me, the tanned and green-eyed contender couldn't stop shuffling on his feet and picking at the skin around his nails.

He'd worn some white shorts and a white see-through shirt, his dirty blonde hair mused into beach waves, his tanned skin maybe even a shade darker than before, or it was just all the white he was wearing.

The other tall and slim blonde kept pulling at his clothes and hair, he seemed more excited than nervous, almost giddy even, his blue eyes were glued to the entrance to the ballroom and he'd lean to try and see into the room. He wore high-waisted flared trousers and an open white jacket that only went to his sternum.

The largest of the three however seemed stoic, he had this blank expression, something I'd noticed he was always wearing. His clothes were a long tunic down to his knees with white leggings underneath, each curl of his white afro coated in product and defined, looking almost wet.

Soon it was time to go in, we lined up and I slipped behind the short blonde with green eyes, not wanting to be the one to enter first. I swallowed thickly, my stomach feeling like it was full of hummingbirds rather than butterflies, I felt almost sick with nerves.

Growing up I never actually believed anything would come of my mother's dream, all that hard work she did to make me who I was, all the sleepless nights organising and planning, and all the restrictions on my life. I'd hated her for a short while, I was fourteen and resented all the limitations, that I couldn't go to school and had no friends. She'd controlled what I'd learnt, what I had access to, my father just in-forced my mother's decisions, if she said no then so would he.

I'd accepted my fate sooner or later, I still never truly believed I would get here, that I'd get this far, part of me thought my mother was delusional in believing I had a chance, but here I was, one of the final four.

I'd always bounced between wanting and hating being chosen, something had to come of all my sacrifices right? But then what about all the other contenders, hadn't they gone through something similar? Sometimes I hated all the constrictions, hated that someone would choose me, hated that nameless, faceless person, I wanted to be free. Other times I was comforted by the strict rules of my life, it gave me direction, I was almost scared of what would happen next if I wasn't chosen, what would I do then? Who would I be?

I was scared of being chosen too, even though I'd been trained for this all my life I didn't feel ready to become Luna, but I guess no matter how much I prepared I'd still feel that way.

I'd read books on Luna choosing's, due to my mother it was a censored version but I could guess what would happen tonight, it wasn't like I hadn't heard wolves from this pack speak about it as I walked by, and my mother had asked me to clean everywhere. I'd gotten more than enough hints, I knew if I was chosen I'd share the alpha's bed from this night onwards, I wasn't completely naïve to what that meant, I won't lie I was freaking terrified, my lack of knowledge certainly didn't help. I knew it was called sex, I knew it made pups, it was the parts I didn't know that made me wary.

And the alpha... he wasn't like I thought, but then he was, I'd met my pack alpha before, quite often since my father was his beta, I knew what an alpha aura felt like but... his was different, his scent, his presence turned me into a boneless puddle, his eyes burned my flesh, he broke my wolf just being near, all he wanted to do was submit, go as low as he could and act like a hyper puppy.

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