RELIVING THE PAST

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It was the games period. Lavyansh and Swastik were playing with other boys. Ankit was sitting alone beside the ground as he did not like to play. The boys of ninth B as well as the boys of tenth A were playing on the ground. Every day on sixth period the boys of those two classes came to play together.

After playing for a while Swastik and Lavyansh took a break and went to sit with Ankit. They sat on both sides of Ankit. But Ankit did not look at them. He was looking somewhere else and his mind was not there.

Lavyansh plucked a grass from the ground and slowly entered one end of it inside Ankit's ear. Ankit jumped up and shouted "BKL ...."

Lavyansh and Swastik started laughing and Ankit showered them with bad words. After laughing for a good while Swastik asked, "What were you thinking that time? You didn't even notice us."

"It's nothing," Ankit replied.

"Were you crushing over someone?" asked Lavyansh.

"I was not," Ankit said, "no one is good enough for me."

"Then ..... were you thinking about your old crush?" asked Swastik.

"Look there," said Lavyansh to Swastik, "isn't it Neeraj? I am sure Ankit was looking at him."

"Don't you have anything better to do? Go and continue your game," Ankit said. "I am going to the classroom."

Ankit walked away but his two best friends followed him closely. Ankit was really watching Neeraj, when he was in the ground. He used to have a huge crush on him from his childhood when he had no idea that boys were not allowed to marry boys. He first met Neeraj when he was only five years old. Neeraj was one year older than him. They used to live in a neighbourhood and met in the children's park.

The six years old Neeraj was helping a girl swing. Ankit wanted to use the swing too. He walked there slowly and stood beside Neeraj without uttering a word.

Neeraj noticed him and asked, "Do you want to swing?"

Ankit nodded silently. Neeraj smiled and asked the little girl if she wanted to get down from the swing. The girl agreed. Neeraj helped her get down and helped Ankit to sit on the swing. Then he started pushing the swing for Ankit. Ankit felt a happiness he never felt before. Later he looked at Neeraj's face and found him beautiful.

"Bhaiya, what is your name?" Ankit asked.

"My name is Neeraj. What is your name?"

"My name is Ankit," he replied with a smile.

He had never found anyone as beautiful as Neeraj before and his name was as beautiful as him. On that day the five years old boy decided that he would only marry that kind hearted beautiful brother. From the day after he went to the park every afternoon only to meet Neeraj.

Neeraj was kind to everyone. Although he himself was not big, he liked to help others. Ankit and Neeraj became friends in no time.

Ankit came to know from his mother that he should study well and earn money in future.

"Why should I earn money?" asked the innocent boy.

"You have to earn money to take care of your family," his mother said.

"For my family? Papa is earning for our family. Isn't he?"

"He is. But when you grow up you should take the responsibility of us. And then you will get married. You have to earn for your wife too."

"I will study well mommy," said Ankit. "I would earn a lot of money for you and my wife."

He had to start earning money before he could marry Neeraj. He was eager to say his feelings to Neeraj.

Next afternoon when he met Neeraj he was excited.

"What happened to you?" asked Neeraj.

"Neeraj bhaiya, I would earn lots of money when I grow up. Then I would marry you," said Ankit innocently.

Neeraj started laughing.

"Why are you laughing bhaiya?" asked Ankit.

"You can't marry me, idiot," replied Neeraj.

"Why? Don't you like me?"

"It's not that I don't like you. I like you as a brother."

"Then will you marry me after I grow up?" asked Ankit expectantly.

"I can't marry you. I am a boy, I would marry a girl.

"But I want to marry you," said Ankit.

"Boys don't marry boys, they marry girls. You too would marry a girl after growing up," said Neeraj.

"But I don't want to marry anyone other than you," whined Ankit.

"You would like a girl one day," assured Neeraj. "Now we both are too small to think about marriage."

Later Ankit asked his mother, "Mommy, could I marry a boy after I start earning?"

"Why should you marry a boy? You would get the most beautiful girl to marry," his mother replied.

Ankit did not fully believe what his mother and Neeraj said about marriage. But he never mentioned that again after that day. When he grew up he came to know that he really cannot marry Neeraj. But no one could stop him from loving Neeraj. When he came to know that there was no wrong in loving a boy, he thought that he still had hope.

Neeraj was good looking and girls liked him. He started dating girls from class sixth and he had no interest in boys. Ankit was left alone with his one sided love. After even so many years, he could not forget his first love.

"So, you were thinking about Neeraj?" asked Lavyansh.

"I can't forget him," replied Ankit.

"There are many other boys in our school who might be interested in boys," said Swastik.

"But no one is as sexy as Neeraj," said Ankit.

"S-E-X-Y?" Swastik and Lavyansh asked in surprise.

"Hmm. He is the sexiest," replied Ankit and started dreaming about Neeraj's sexy body.   

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