Not A Finch

Chapter 12: Insignificant

Insignificant.

No one knows what that word means.

There is no one on this damn planet that knows.

I am the only one.

The car ride back is loud and angry and disappointed and betrayed.

My brothers' words ram against the windows and the car doors and my bones basically shaking my entire world as they hold bruised cheeks and bloodied noses.

I'm in trouble, but I can't hear their words.

Too small or unimportant to be worth consideration.

That's the definition of insignificant. I'm the only one that knows what that word means.

I stare at my hands emotionally unable to lift my head, my eyes swollen from crying.

I'm no one. I'm no one. I'm no one.

No matter what I do in my life, I will always be too small or unimportant to be worth consideration. I am the last child of the Finch family, just another fucking kid that is not as smart, funny, strong, or good looking as my older brothers.

I'm no one. That's why he never wanted me. He wanted my genetics, my shared looks...he wanted my brother. He wanted Adair. He never wanted you, Asher. You idiot. You moron. You fucking loser. How could you even begin to think he did?

You are no one. You don't matter.

Stupid.

"Fucking look at us when we're talking to you," Augustus screams at me, jerking my face upwards as he grabs my chin. Scratches that look like nail marks start from the top of his cheek boning ending at his jaw. His nose is beginning to bruise.

I'm stuck sitting in the middle seat of our small car, Augustus on my left and Hunter on my right. Adair drives the car, his left eye beginning to darken from a fist that was meant for me. Rue sits in the passenger seat, his body all the way twisted around to glare at me, continuing to lecture me despite his busted lip.

"Augustus you don't need to be physical with him," Hunter says his right cheek bruised and knuckles bloody. "Even though you do need some sense knocked into that thick head of yours we aren't going to hurt you. We are just going to tell you how much you hurt us."

His words cut the air slicing through the little space between us, but they barely pierce my numb shell.

I'm an idiot for ever thinking I could be known in school for something other than being a little brother. I am the youngest Finch, nothing more.

Who the hell cares about Asher?

Absolutely no one. The only other person besides my family that truly cared about who I was as a person was Zach. But, I probably lost him forever.

I have no idea what happened to him. After the fight broke out the police arrived, and everyone began screaming and running out. My brothers pulled me out of the house before I could even warn Zach. They arrested him for hosting a party and serving alcohol to minors.

I think Zach was going to jail.

How could I let that happen? My best friend who just wanted to be recognized like I did was now going to jail for something I started. What kind of person was I?

I'm a horrible person and an idiot.

I'm no one, and I should have just accepted that.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

"I don't know Hunter; maybe Asher should be spanked. Since he wants to act like a vacuous child, we should treat him like one." Adair says harshly glaring at me through the rearview mirror. "I am repulsed by your actions Asher Finch. You threw a fucking party with drugs and alcohol! Do you know how dumb that is? Do you know how strong acid is? What if someone OD? And now Zach is arrested. What if he tells the cops you were part of it?"