Love & Revenge

ep 04; softening up

it has been a week since jungkook left her with that guilt building up inside of her. no matter how much y/n's eyes searched for him he wasn't there. he was nowhere to be found. the only thing that remained with her was his painful eyes. which made her heart scream in an agony of guilt. 

her condition was a mess. she wanted to apologize to him. she wanted to correct her mistakes. she wanted to get rid of this guilt that was eating her up day and night.

"just give up, will you? how long are you going to stay sulking like this?" Isabell asked taking a seat beside y/n who wasn't going to listen to the lecture again. even though she was present at all the lectures as a habit, her mind was occupied with the thoughts of him. with the thoughts of his painful eyes.

"I can't Isabell. you don't understand. that day, he was different. he was hurting inside. and to think that I am the cause of it. it hurts so bad. my heart feels like it is burning with fire." y/n said while hiding her face in between her palms. she was on the brink of breaking down. 

"it was not your fault y/n. wasn't he the one who pushed you to act like that? so it was all on him. why are you blaming yourself for something like this?" Isabell asked. she didn't understand why y/n was feeling so guilty considering the personality of jungkook. he surely deserved whatever y/n has said to him.

"no Isabell. don't tell me it's not my fault. because it is. yeah, maybe he pushed me a little off the edge. but I never should have let my anger take control over me. people tell things they don't mean out of anger. and that's what exactly I did." y/n was on the verge of crying. she couldn't bear the guilt anymore.

"so if you speak to jungkook would things get better? would he forgive you?" Isabell asked knowing very well that y/n wasn't going to give up on this.

"I don't expect him to forgive me after all the harsh things I have said to him. but still, I want to apologize. if I don't do that I don't think I would be able to live in peace here after." tears were brimming in y/n's eyes when she looked at Isabell.

"what if he does something to you? what if he humiliates you again?"

"it's okay. he can even throw me off on a cliff if he wants. because I deserved that. he might seem like a cold and emotionless person. but behind that mask, he has feelings too. it is my fault to forget that."

hearing her Isabell let out a sigh. she knew that y/n was never going to be fine again unless she apologize to that rude jerk. she was too pure for this cruel world. 

"okay then. jungkook is in the library. I saw him there when I went to grab some of my reference books." Isabell said completely giving up on trying to talk y/n out of meeting him again.

"really? is he really here?" hearing Isabell y/n's eyes lit up with hope. it was the first time in that week Isabell had seen her genuinely smile.

"yeah, he is." Isabell nodded her head with a small smile on her lips.

"thank you. thank you so much." y/n pulled Isabell into a born-crushing hug before dashing out of the lecture room without caring about the lecture she had to attend in a moment.

°°°

jungkook sat in a dark corner of the library room where he got no attention from the students that were passing by. he was just blankly staring at the book that his hands held. he was lost somewhere far away where he couldn't find an escape from. he was lost in her memories.

'the tale of promises' is the book she always used to have in her hands. its cover was filled with different pastel colours. pink, purple, blue and green... unlike his life that was filled with dull colours like black and white. his brightest colours only lasted for the while he could see her smile. her smile which was the brightest and happiest smile he has ever seen. and in a matter of a moment, his colours of life got faded away with her, that one day.