Love & Revenge

ep 09; confession

hurt. that's the only feeling jungkook reflected in his eyes whenever he saw y/n running out of his sight, avoiding any type of interaction with him. he knew that he brought this upon himself. this pain. this heart-wrenching pain. 

the soft and lovable bambi eyes of y/n had gotten painted with a cold and emotionless gaze with a mixture of pain in them. all because of him. and jungkook just couldn't forgive himself for that.

he wanted to run to her. he wanted her to know that all the things he had said had been a big fat lie to make things better for both of them. but now he started questioning things. was it really for the better? if so, why it was so painful to watch her slipping away from his grasp? why was it so difficult to see that her usual cheerful behaviour was nowhere to be found? 

y/n knew that everything was a lie. jungkook couldn't just lie to her like that. she knew. but at the same time, the words jungkook had said left a crack in the trust she had in those beliefs. was it really a lie? did she really know him like she believed she knew? was she really stupid to still believe those words to be false? but no matter what her heart was broken. broken from the rejection. broken from the trust. broken from the love. 

but whenever she gets a glimpse of his gaze that was fixed on her every move she questioned. what was wrong with him? wasn't he the one who said that he didn't feel anything towards her? then why? why was he looking at her like that? why were his eyes painted with hurt? why? just why? she was already hurt by his words. but right now she was breaking apart just by his presence. if he has nothing to do with her, he shouldn't look at her like that. those eyes shouldn't have held those emotions. selfish. arrogant. jerk. y/n felt anger rising through her. for his bipolar behaviour. if he wanted to play like that, let it be. she can play too.

jungkook would take any chance he could to take a glimpse of her. each day that was passing by he was seeing less and less of her. he felt empty. his soul was hungry. for her. for her love. for them. the revenge has been long forgotten. the love he had for her has been overtaken his desire for revenge. no revenge would be worth the pain he was going through right now. it was not worth it anymore. y/n has been taken over his heart in a way that can't be undone. it was only her. just her. 

the pain was so much that he wanted a remedy to forget her. to forget everything. to forget every little memory of her. and he found that temporary remedy in alcohol. but with each drink he had drawn himself in, only increased the pain he had wanted to get rid of so badly. the memories of her only became clearer as the day. his judgement started to become clouded by the thoughts of having her near him. having her in his arms. he simply wanted her by his side. to love her. to protect her. to spoil her. to give her the whole of him.

°°°

when y/n opened her door she did not expect to see a drunken jungkook to be there. the nonstop knocks on her door were already strange enough. but to have jungkook in front of her house in the middle of the night in this state made her eyes widen from the shock. 

"jungkook? what are you doing here?" she asked from the boy whose attention was on the floor without even realizing that the door has been opened fully.

but when he looked up at her, her heart was broken. his eyes were welled up in tears. the strong and cold boy was crying. the facade he has put upon has been ripped apart. the one who is standing right in front of her was the vulnerable and soft boy who was yearning for love.

"I-I am sorry." jungkook barely let out with his blurry vision that got clouded with his tears. 

"jung-" y/n couldn't speak anymore as the weight of jungkook fell upon her making her breath hitch from the sudden action. he was hugging her like his life was depending on it. he never wanted to let go of her. he never wanted to push her away ever again. with each thought his grip around her was getting tighter. he just wanted to have her in his arms. like he always wished.