76| The Night the Angels Fell

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When we got back into the church, Abaddon was beating Crowley up, finally knocking him unconscious. Sam threw holy oil at her, lighting a match and setting her on fire. Black smoke swirled out the broken window as Abaddon escaped. I got Crowley back upright in his chair while Sam reapplied the paint on the Devil's Trap.

"Are you joking?" Crowley asked us. "I just saved your life."

"Seriously?" I laughed.

"Seriously?" Crowley repeated. "Me, seriously? We just shared a foxhole, the three of us. We beat back the Tet Offensive, outrun the- the Rape of Nanking together! And still you gonna do me like this!"

I backed off as Sam came over with another syringe of blood and injected it into Crowley's neck. Crowley yelled in pain, starting to talk with less of a British accent and seeming to speak nonsense.

"Aah! Aah! 'Band of Brothers'? 'The Pacific'? None of this means anything to you? All those motels, you never once watched HBO, not once? 'Girls'? You're my Marnie, Moose. A-and Hannah- she just -she needs to be loved. She deserves it. Don't we all- you, me -we deserve to be loved. I deserve to be loved! I just want to be loved."

Sam and I blinked at the demon curiously.

"What?" I asked.

"What?" Crowley repeated.

I looked over at Sam. He looked drained, a bandage on one of his arms from drawing his own blood and having Crowley bite him earlier. He winced in pain as he took more blood from his arm.

"Would it be possible, Moose...I'd like...to ask you a-a favor, Sam. Earlier, when you were confessing back there...what did you say? I only ask because, given my history...it raises the question... Where do I start...to even look for forgiveness? I mean..."

"Why don't we start with this?" Sam suggested, holding up the needle.

Crowley tilted his head to submit to the injection. I watched curiously, as rather than showing pain like before, the demon king seemed to just be content with receiving the seventh dose of blood. An hour later, after the last injection was administered, Sam began to chant the words to purify Crowley.

"Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus, hanc animam redintegra, lustra."

Tossing the book aside, he took a knife and cut open his palm as the orange glow returned. I bit my lip, crossing my arms over my chest. Sam moved toward Crowley, and just before he put his hand on him, Dean burst through the door of the church.

"Sammy, stop!"

Sam paused, hand still hovering in the air above Crowley, as he stared at his brother.

"Easy there," Dean said, hands up in a placating gesture as he moved toward Sam. "Okay. Just take it easy. We got a slight change of plan."

"What?" Sam asked. "What's going on? Where's Cass?!"

"Metatron lied. You finish this trial, you're dead, Sam."

My eyes widened in shock as I stared at the two brothers. Crowley had also turned his head to stare, though he seemed like he was about to pass out at any moment.

"So?"

I flinched, tears welling up in my eyes at the simple one word question uttered from Sam's lips.

"Look at him. Look at him!" Sam gestured to Crowley. "Look at how close we are! Other people will die if I don't finish this!"

"Think about it," Dean continued. "Think about what we know, huh? Pulling souls from Hell, curing demons, hell, ganking a hellhound! We have enough knowledge on our side to turn the tide here. But I can't do it without you."

"You can barely do it with me. I mean, you think I screw up everything I try. You think I need a chaperone, remember?"

"Come on, man. That's not what I meant."

"No, it's exactly what you meant. You want to know what I confessed in there? What my greatest sin was? It was how many times I let you down. I can't do that again."

"Sam-"

"What happens when you've decided I can't be trusted again?" Sam started crying. "I mean, who are you gonna turn to next time instead of me? Another angel, another- another vampire? Your wife? Do you have any idea what if feels like to watch your brother just-"

"Hold on, hold on!" Dean cut him off. "You seriously think that? Because none of it- none of it- is true. Listen, man, I know we've had our disagreements, okay? Hell, I know I've said some junk that set you back on your heels. But Sammy... come on. I killed Benny to save you. I'm willing to let this bastard and all those sons of bitches that killed mom walk because of you. Don't you dare think there is anything, past or present, that I would put in front of you! It has never been like that, ever! I need you to see that. I'm begging you."

"How do I stop?"

I swiped at the tears that were streaming down my face as the orange glow started to fade from Sam's hand.

"Just let it go," Dean told him.

"I can't. It's in me, Dean. You don't know what it feels like."

Dean took out a bandana, wrapping it around Sam's cut.

"Hey, listen, we will figure it out, okay, just like we always do. Come on."

Dean grabbed his brother, pulling him in for a tight hug.

"Come on. Let it go, okay? Let it go, brother."

As Sam backed away from Dean, the orange glow also faded from his arms.

"Hey, Dean," he said.

"See?" Dean smiled.

Sam doubled over in pain, then, and I followed the brothers as Dean aided him out of the church.

"Sam? I got you, little brother. You're gonna be just fine."

Sam groaned, falling to the ground next to the Impala.

"Sam, Sam?" Dean asked frantically.

"Cass?!" I yelled as Sam wheezed. "Castiel, where the hell are you?!"

"Sammy!" Dean continued to yell.

"Dean," I grabbed his attention.

He turned to look at me, but I wasn't looking at him. When he followed my gaze, he saw what I was looking at. Thousands of bright comet-like things were falling from the bluish-purple sky.

"No, Cass," Dean whispered.

"What's happening?" Sam asked.

"Angels," I breathed. "They're falling."

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