82| The Blame Game

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Despite the fact that I made it seem like I was following Tracy back to the Impala, I let her get way ahead of me, circling back and ducking behind an abandoned car to watch the interaction between Dean and Abaddon play out. As I watched, she grabbed him by the shoulder, dislocating it and forcing him to his knees.

"So appreciate you three coming when I call," she purred. "I think that's what I love most about you Winchesters. You're so obedient. And suicidally stupid. I like that, too."

"Are we gonna fight or make out?" Dean quipped. "'Cause I'm getting some mixed signals here, and you're technically wearing my wife's grandmother and that just seems messed up."

"I want Crowley. Or what's left of him."

"Yeah? What's in it for me?"

"I let you die. You give me Crowley's head, and I will snap your neck, quick and clean. You won't feel a thing, trust me."

"And if I tell you to get bent?"

"Oh. Well... you know, I've loved this body since the moment I first saw it. You're the perfect vessel, Dean. You give a girl all sorts of nasty ideas. So go ahead and play hard to get, and I'll peel this 'no demons allowed' tattoo and smoke up your ass."

I was seeing red, but forced myself to stay put, figuring Dean had a plan.

"Ooh," Dean mocked Abaddon. "Well, I gotta tell you, between you and me, it's a horror show up there."

"It can get worse. Trust me. 'Cause once I'm on top, I'll make you watch. And I'll use your body. Have you ever felt an infant's blood drip down your chin? Or listened to a girl scream while you rip her guts out? Because you will. It's you and me, lover. We'll have a grand old time."

Just as I was about to jump out, plan be damned, a bright light flashed from within the diner and all the windows got blasted out.

"An angel?!" the demoness growled.

"What, you think we'd roll up to this mouse trap without some backup?"

Grabbing him by the throat, Abaddon threw Dean aside and disappeared. I hurried out from my hiding place over to where he had landed.

"Leave you alone for two minutes and you're flirting with a demon," I grumbled.

"Ah, there's only one red head for me, Ellie Bear," he smirked at me.

I rolled my eyes, popping his shoulder back into place without warning.

"Ah! Hey!"

Giving him a smug smile, I turned on my heel and headed into the diner to see the damage Ezekiel had caused. When I entered with Dean close behind, the angel was pulling the demon killing knife out of one of the formerly possessed bodies.

"They were going to kill him, Eleanor. Dean."

"Ezekiel? What the hell did you do?"

"I was protecting your brother," the angel turned to face us. "I thought that was what you wanted."

"Right, yeah, no, I-I... sorry, I'm just still getting used to this thing," Dean mumbled.

I glanced over at him apologetically as Ezekiel nodded his head.

"As am I."

"But Sam's okay?" I piped up.

"He was knocked unconscious," Ezekiel replied. "In a way he still is. Sam will not remember any of this."

"So what the hell are we supposed to tell him when he comes to?"

"That's why I used the knife."

He held out the handle of the demon killing knife toward us and Dean reached out for it cautiously.

"Right. Smart."

"You are troubled, still," Ezekiel observed.

"Yeah, it's just that, uh... this is on me. I was the one who talked Sam out of boarding up Hell. Okay? So every demon deal, every kill that they make... well, you're looking at the person who let it happen."

I reached out, taking Dean's hand in my own and lacing our fingers together.

"You were protecting your brother," Ezekiel continued. "I am in Sam's head. Everything he knows, I know. And I know that what you did, you did out of love."

"Yeah, uh, look, Zeke- I'm going to call you Zeke- I'm not really into the whole, uh, love, and... love."

"But it is why I said yes."

"Yeah, and if that goes sideways, that's on me, too."

"Okay, no," I protested. "That one's on me."

Dean looked like he wanted to argue with me more, but Ezekiel jumped in again.

"That's not going to happen," he said.

"This is nuts," Dean muttered. "I mean, you're Sam, but you're not Sam, and normally he's the one I'm talking to about all this stuff. I'm trusting you, Zeke. We both are. We just gotta hope that you're one of the good guys."

"I am," Ezekiel said, then paused a beat. "But I suppose that is what a bad guy would say."

Another beat.

"Dean Winchester, you are doing the right thing."

Zeke had sat back down where Sam had been knocked down against the wall and relinquished control once more, leaving Sam unconscious on the floor.

"Hey," I stopped Dean as he started to repack the duffle. "This isn't all on you, you know that, right? I'm as much to blame as you are."

"I stopped him, Ellie. I sent out that prayer to the angels."

"Yeah, and I should have stopped him instead of sitting by and doing nothing. I gave Zeke the green light to possess him. We can go in circles all day playing the blame game, Dean."

"What if we ran away?"

"What?"

"I mean, you said it yourself. Maddie's already picked up on the truth and it's only a matter of time before Zep does, too. What if we just loaded them into the back of the Impala and ran away?"

I swallowed hard, glancing over at Sam.

"You want to? I mean, just abandon Sam with Zeke, the whole mess with Abaddon? Not to mention Cass is still out there somewhere without his grace... you want to walk away from all of that?"

Conflict flashed in Dean's eyes as he looked from me over to Sam and back.

"Why is it always our job to fix the world?"

A pang went through my chest as I flashed back to Dean's line of thinking back when we were dealing with the Leviathans.

"Dean..."

"Yeah... I know."

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