No Right To Decide

Chapter 2

'Are you feeling a bit better? Sorry I didn't text you earlier. I forgot.' I typed, but then deleted the last sentence. That will make me look like a bad friend, my brain said. My heart knew it wouldn't matter, cause friends love you no matter what. Of course they do, but you have to do something for their love. I send the text message without the last sentence. I always forget everything, always listening to my brain but never remembering the stuff in my brain. Aeris hasn't been online since an hour ago. She'll read it later, maybe she's getting some rest. I hope so, sleep is the best medicine. 'I'm going for a walk.' I told my father, who finished washing the dishes. 'Have fun.' He replied as he put the last plate in the cabinet. Sometimes he wanted to come with me for a walk, but I almost never let him. Going for a walk is my activity. Not his.
'Meow!' My cat walked around the corner of the hall. I gave her a fast pet and made my way to the garage.
The garage door creaked a bit as I opened it. My mother never liked that sound, it made her think of bad spirits, while the house is just old. My mother can't accept the facts. "The facts I believe came from God." she'd say every time. "You also have to start realizing that. I don't want you to take a wrong turn." When I was younger, I never knew what she meant with the "wrong turn". Now I finally found out. It was the turn to the Devil's path, to Hell.
A cold breeze entered the garage when I opened the door.
Just a few more weeks, then my favorite holiday starts, Christmas. Well, that's what I tell my parents. My real favorite holiday is Halloween, but my mother sees it as a Devil's thing, my father just agrees with her. But Christmas is also nice. And New year's. I wish to celebrate it once with my friends, instead of every year with my family.
I greeted an old lady passing me. Was she also a follower of God? That thought disappeared fast as I heard a notification sound through my music. It was from Aeris. "I'm feeling better, thank you :)" I smiled a bit when I read she was feeling better. I'm not picking favorites, but I feel more comfortable, more loved, when I'm with Aeris. Emily just feels cold, like she's using me as her second choice friend because she cant get other friends. Okay that does sound like I'm picking favorites.... But is it bad when the person that isn't your favorite, doesn't like you the most anyway? I'm really getting the feeling I'm the second choice. It isn't the first choice's fault. If Emily is picking favorites, then I'll do the same. Maybe I'm Aeris' favorite?
'Good evening.' A man with a dog greeted me. 'Good evening.' I said with a little smile. What was I thinking about again?
I looked at the orange/yellow colored leaves on the ground. As I lifted my head, I saw the tree without it's leaves. It reminded me of a song without a melody. The melody of a song made the song pretty, maybe even beautiful. But if the melody isn't right, the music will be awful. But after some time, the pretty song with the good melody won't be as popular anymore. It isn't pretty anymore, it isn't new. Just like the healthy green leaves turn orange and eventually fall off the tree. It won't fit the tree anymore. But after some time, the writers of the song will make a new melody. A new song will be born, just like the green leaves will return on the tree in the Spring.
The path covered with yellow/orange leaves stopped. There was a big street in front of me, it wasn't that busy now. I always walked the same route, so I turned left, just like my thoughts. As the new song started playing in my earphones, my thoughts continued.
Suddenly someone bumped into me. He was covered with tattoos, had baggy clothes and his dog was a doberman. My mother warned me for these people. Although the man looked intimidating, he apologized kindly. He gave me the feeling he knew me, even though I've never seen him in my life. I'd recognize him of his tattoos. 'It's okay!' I reacted to his apology. He smiled back and continued his walk. Was the man a child of God? That question always bothered me when I saw people I didn't knew. What are their thoughts about how the Earth was made. Did God made it, or was it the Big Bang? I can't tell what I think about that. That has already been decided for me by my parents.
But was the guy a child of God or a fallen angel serving the Devil? He also could be none of both. He could be those who are called "Atheists". Why did they gave it such a weird name? It should've been a normal word because it's a normal thing. Everyone can believe in what they want to believe. But, sadly, the church will forbid those who entered as a baby, to change their minds about God. "God is everything, God made us. We have to be grateful to God. We have to pay Him for His good deeds." The priest would say. But what if the priest is wrong? What if God didn't made this world, but the Big Bang happened? Even if God didn't made this world, God should approve other's thoughts. God should accept those who don't believe, those who don't love the opposite gender, those who made some mistakes in their life's. Or God isn't a good person. And if God isn't a good person, would I even want to enter Heaven when my time has come? I can't say that out loud. I'll be probably punished. The priest would then declare that there's a bad spirit inside of me. He'd say a few words, throw some holy water on me and 'drive the spirit away'.
Is it bad to think this way? Like it's some fairytale. But what if it's all a big fairytale? The whole Bible could just be a big fairytales book with stories in It. What if those moments described in the Bible never happened? Humans wrote the Bible, Jesus or God didn't.
No I can't think like that. I do have to be grateful that God put me on this earth.
Another person greeted me, I didn't react. I didn't even saw what they person looked like. My thoughts were screaming through my head, like a war was happening.