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"You are so beautiful, Honey."
I smiled, ito talagang si Andrew napakabolero.
"I love you Hon."
"And I love you more!"
Andrew and I decided to take it a slow day today, just a walk in the park and a catch up dahil masyado syang kailangan ng Mama nya.
"Hon, are you getting disappointed in me these past few weeks?"
"Huh? Why did you say so?"
"I cannot do anything because Eomma---"
"Hon, I completely understand. Please know that you are not, never going to be in a situation where you will need to choose between your mother and me. Just like I will never let you feel that I need to choose between you and Daddy, or you and Aya."
"I am so lucky for having you, Hon."
"And so am I."
Andrew hugged me.
"Have we met earlier, would you be choosing me?"
"What do you mean?"
"What if I came earlier than Ian?"
I smiled.
"If you came in earlier, I would not even think that you will like me."
"What do you mean?"
"The pre-Ian me is so different. I look boyish, I don't fix myself much, I look like a mess, I simply am unattractive."
"But it might have been different to me."
"That we don't know. Pero what if ako naman, mas nauna akong dumating kay Jisoo."
"She would never happen if you just came in early."
"But did you not love her?"
"I should have not."
"What did she do so wrong Hon?"
"She loved my money, she loved what I have she never loved me."
"Do you think so?"
"She just wants my money, she even did not want a child with me, Hon."
I was shocked, that was not what Jisoo told me, that's not what I can see.
"But, you said she leaked the info you work so hard that's why you divorce her."
"I won't divorce just for money alone. What made me divorce her is Jisoo not wanting a child with me."
"Have you cleared this with her?"
"She will just lie to me. I asked the doctor she worked up with, I checked her medical records, I checked everything, she made sure she won't get pregnant with me."
I sighed, there's something wrong. Jisoo loved him so much, she still loves him, why would Jisoo not want a baby from the person he loves the most?
"Hon."
"Honey, you know, I think we should both close our past first. You talk to Jisoo and settle, I will talk to Ian and settle."
"Hon."
"Diba you wanted me to talk to Ian? Maybe, you're right."
"Hon, you have Aya to settle, Jisoo and I do not have anyone to settle."
"Hon, you have your heart and your mind to settle. Make peace with yourself."
"But..."
"Let us please close our past. Let us move on happily."
Andrew hugged me.
"I love you."
"I know and I love you too."
"We'll never part right?"
"We won't Hon, we won't."
More than 2 weeks ako sa Sokor at wala akong ibang naisip kundi ang hindi ko talaga kayang wala si Aya sa tabi ko. Kasama ko naman si Andrew and I am happy but it would never be complete without my Aya.
"Momma!!!"
"Aya, baby! I missed you!"
"I miss you too Momma."
"I'm sorry I needed to leave you for a while."
"It's okay Momma, Ninang said I can always stay with her."
"You love Ninang?"
"So much Momma!"
"More than me?"
Hindi agad nakasagot si Aya!
"Konti na lang, ako na ang Mama nya. Sana di mo na binalikan para may babae na kaming anak."
"Myelle 2 weeks lang yun."
"Aya, why don't you open your pasalubong muna? Your Momma and I will be talking about something."
Aya happily opened what I brought her.
"Ngayon sabihin mo na."
"Myelle,"
"Ano?"
"Do I really need to talk to Ian?"
"Do you think you need to?"
"Hindi ko alam."
"Haii nako Sab."
"Alam mo kasi Myelle, hindi naman kami nagkaroon ng matagal na relasyon ni Ian eh. Magkaibigan kami, oo, mula pagkabata pero yung relasyon na kami, wala pang isang taon."
"And..."
"And if not because of Aya there would be no US."
"Pero minahal mo hindi ba?"
"Oo, sobra."
"Ano bang mawawala sa'yo kung kakausapin mo sya Sab?"
Napaisip ako, ano nga ba?
"Yung galit sa puso mo, mawawala yan Sab."
"Pero."
"Kung di mo pa kaya wag mo pilitin, pero alam mo Sab, magiging masaya ka kapag nawala yung galit kasi ako, when I started to let go of my hatred towards Mark, mas naging okay ako, nagkaroon ako ng maayos na negosyo, mga anak at mapagmahal na asawa. Don't let that hate block the good things that might come."
"Can I really forgive and forget Myelle?"
Myelle sighed and seat a little closer to me.
"Sab are you still not over Ian?"
"Huh?? What's that Myelle? Where that even came from?"
"Kasi Sab, by the looks of it, you haven't moved on yet."
"What?"
"Sab, ikaw na nga ang may sabi, hindi naman kayo matagal na naging magboyfriend. You were long friends and something just happened that you both opened up. If not that, will you both cross the boundaries of friendship?"
I closed my eyes.
"Sab, if it won't give you peace and happiness, just try to move away from it, try to remove it from your life, forget it. Now that you wanted to get married, start clean. Fill your mind and heart with only peace and happiness."
I smiled at Myelle, on the following days, I tried forgiving Ian by letting him visit Aya. Visit lang pero madalas na wala ako at doon lang sya pwede kila Mommy. We have not met yet. Bukod sa hindi ko pa kaya, hindi pa rin kami pinagbibigyan ng pagkakataon.
I wonder how can I just forget Ian? Can I really let go of my hatred?
