Five's a Crowd | Stucky / Marvel Polyamorous LGBT Romance

Chapter 4: Steve

TW: Coronavirus and related pandemic stress, anxiety and fear. Discussion of death and loss.

For the first few weeks after Charlie's isolation they were all still a bit rattled. Nicky was clingy and agitated, wandering around the apartment, flitting from person to person, seeking constant attention and affection. To Steve's surprise, Nicky often ended up sitting on the floor at Steve's feet while he did design work in their bedroom, or on the couch. It was a little bit like having a slightly whiny shadow, but Steve honestly didn't mind. Every once in a while he would reach down and stroke Nicky's soft hair or his cheek and Steve would receive beautiful, big green doe eyes in return.

For his credit, Charlie seemed to be doing mostly okay, but he too was a little clingier than usual. Steve would be cooking at the stove, sitting at the table eating lunch, or working at his desk and suddenly Charlie would be there. His presence was a little less intrusive than Nicky's. Usually he would just sit or stand next to Steve, talking idly or not at all, seeming to just wanting to be near him.

Steve didn't really mind this either, actually he sort of enjoyed the extra attention Charlie was paying him. It did mean, though, that between the two of them Steve was almost never alone.

Then there was Bucky. He had appeared to be the least affected during Charlie's isolation, but afterwards he seemed to cave in on himself a bit. When they were all hanging out together Bucky would stare off into space or sometimes even leave the room all together. When they were in bed together at night, he would only want to cuddle for a few minutes before rolling away to sleep on the other side of the bed.

If this had happened the year before when it had just been the two of them, Steve probably would have obsessed about it and annoyed Bucky with his presence and prodding. This year though, Steve was trying to juggle the needs of all three men around him, and so he found himself just letting Bucky withdraw, hoping maybe all he needed was some time and space to himself. He was spending some time with Nicky, and a little time here and there with Charlie, so Steve didn't think it was anything to really worry about at first. However, as the days passed and he continued to fade away, Steve began to worry more actively.

Finally, one evening they were sitting on the couch and Steve reached for Bucky's hand and he seemed to subconsciously flinch away. Steve all of the sudden was ten years old, sitting on his bed in his and his mom's tiny apartment. He had been sick for weeks, but the fever and cough had finally broken and he had been so excited to see Bucky, but when he had come over he was cold and distant. At first, Steve had been worried Bucky was angry at him over something, but the more he pried the more Bucky seemed to disappear into himself. He had reached for his hand on the bed and when Bucky had pulled it back, young, plucky Steve had done the only thing he could think to do. He had tackled him onto the bed and tickled him until he was laughing and screeching, begging for mercy.

When they had both finally calmed down enough to speak clearly, Steve had demanded to know what was wrong. Bucky had taken him in his arms, as he often did when they were kids since he was by far the bigger of the two of them back then. He tried to explain in his young vocabulary that sometimes, the world just felt too big, so he would disappear into his own tiny world. In that world, he didn't have to deal with the pressure from his parents, or the responsibility to watch over his sisters, and he definitely didn't have to worry about Steve being sick.

Steve remembered the flush of shame that had run through him then, thinking that he had somehow broken Bucky. Bucky explained it wasn't him, at least not fully. Sometimes his head just got too loud and he had to shut everything down for a while.

Steve felt too old and too tired to tackle Bucky and tickle him now, so he did the next best thing. He turned sideways on the couch, reached his long arms out and pulled Bucky into a hug.