Five's a Crowd | Stucky / Marvel Polyamorous LGBT Romance

Chapter 14: Loki | Nicky

Loki

Loki woke up feeling just as bad as he had the night before. Stressed, uncertain, and a little bit heartbroken. He tried to tell himself that they just wanted him to find housing for his own good, so he could spread his wings, and get to know this new city. Unfortunately, that voice in the back of his head was much louder than normal today, and it said that they wanted him out of their house and out of their lives.

Loki took a brutally hot shower, hoping that would help. While he didn't particularly like looking at his own naked body, today it just all seemed like too much, so he kept his eyes closed and leaned his head against the cold shower wall.

He got out and dressed in sweats and the baggiest t-shirt he owned, that hadn't previously belonged to Bucky.

He started to hear noises around the house as the others woke up and started about their Saturday. He quietly locked the door and went back to bed. He felt bad about locking them out of their own space a second time, but he was beginning to think he probably wouldn't be here, in their way, for much longer.

He stayed in his room until way past lunch, hoping that everyone would just assume he was stressed about his living situation. While that was definitely true, it was much more than that.

He tried to browse through some of the short-term housing options, but his mind was spinning in circles, so he pulled up the webpage for the nearest hotel and almost booked a room. As he was typing in the last number of his credit card he heard a knock at the door. He slammed his laptop shut and walked to the door.

It was Bucky, asking through the door if he wanted any food, drinks, or company, and if he was okay. Loki called back that he was fine, he was just doing some more housing research and preferred to be alone right now. Bucky left him to it and Loki felt even worse than he had moments before. In reality the last thing he wanted was to be alone, but he couldn't very well talk to the people who had inadvertently hurt him about how hurt he was feeling.

He came back to his laptop feeling fragile and off balance. He slowly clicked back through his search history until he found one of the apartment search sites he had been lucky with, and he began to expand his search to farther and farther away from their current neighborhood. He found some interesting looking places on the other side of the city, very industrial chique, and some of the neighborhoods looked very up and coming.

This wasn't a small town like the one where he was supposed to be living with his ex. Deep down, he had known there was no way he could stay there, risking running into his ex and his ex's group of friends. This city was different. If he really had to, he could start over on the other side of the town and make his own friends and maybe fall back in with his other friends when they were all vaccinated. It felt pointless to admit now, but Loki had never felt as close to any of his old friends as he did to these four, but it was probably because he had gone and let his stupid feelings get involved.

He bookmarked a few apartments and felt his stomach clench tighter with each click of the mouse. He slammed the laptop closed again and went and sat on the bathroom floor. He hadn't eaten anything today so there was no risk of actually throwing up, but his insides felt tumultuous. Like they'd rather be outside of his body, far away from his warring brain and aching heart. He curled up on the cold tile floor for a while, just practicing some deep breathing his long ago therapist had taught him.

Finally, he made his way back to the bedroom. He really had no right to keep them away from their stuff for an entire day, so he quietly unlocked the door and climbed back into bed. If anyone came in, he could just pretend to be asleep.

No one came in for a while, and Loki was actually drifting off to sleep when the door creaked open.

"Loki?" Nicky's soft voice called.