Chapter 38

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I just arrived at the hotel closing the door to my room behind me. I sat down in front of the couch pulling my knees to my chest and hugging them close to me. Deep breaths. Calm thinking. Pull it together Alexandra. I whispered to myself.

My eyes started watering causing me to look at the ceiling to avoid the tears falling.

One tear left my eye when my phone started to ring. I quickly whipped it away and answered. "Hello?"

"Hi, Alex. Can I come over?" Max asked and I could hear the rage in his voice.

"Of course. Room 625. I answered immediately. Whats wrong?"

"See you in a minute." He ignored the question hanging up.

I quickly made sure I looked like nothing happened before Max knocked at my door.

"I'm so fucking mad." He raged as soon as I let him in.

"Why?" I asked not sure if he was talking about the race or something else.

"He fucking left no space for me and now I'm at fault for this incident!" he raged.

"I mean I could have pulled out sure but if he left space I shouldnt have to. Right? Verdomte kont." (Damn asshole)

"I know. I get that youre angry but raging about it now wont change it. You both lost good points today but lets see this from a different angle. Dannys won! That at least has to make you happy right?"

"Yeah, it does." He smiled slightly.

Silence settled over us Until Max broke it again.

"What did Christian want from you today?" he asked curiously looking over at me.

I faltered trying to find the right words to tell him what had happened. In the end, I didnt have the heart to make him even angrier and to be honest Im not sure if I would have gotten it over with without crying. So, I just said nothing and stared at the wall.

"Whats wrong?" Max asked carefully.

"Nothing. I'm fine." I reassured him but Im almost sure that my eyes were red from the tears I was holding back. Silence resettled over us.

"Would you excuse me for a second I have to make a phone call?" He said getting up the rage prominent in his voice again.

"Who are you calling at six pm?" I glanced over at him.

"Oh, just my dad." He dismissed the question.

"But why dont you just go to him? Hes in this hotel as well, right?" I asked confused.

Max went to the bathroom without another word.

A few minutes later I just heard him shout. "You did what?!" my head shot up.

"Yeah? Well, fuck them! No, a great driver is worth more than publicity! You just fucked up future Championships the team could have won." He went on raging through the phone.

"Yeah, whatever talk to you another time." I guess the conversation was over after that.

Max came out of the bathroom a few moments later his face still red from rage.

"Hey. What's wrong?" I asked softly. He was one of my best friends and seeing him so angry and sad at the same time didn't sit right with me.

"You can stop pretending nothing happened. I know." He looked at me with a sad look.

"Know what?" I got up walking toward him.

"I'm so sorry that happened to you today, Lexi. If I had known, I wouldn't have come and pushed my problems onto you. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay. I'm fine. Just a little disappointed." I fought the tears welling up in my eyes.

"You don't look fine." He noticed.

"If you tell another soul about this you are dead you got me?" I said looking at him through teary eyes.

"I won't. Pinky-promise." He said, "Do you really want to go out tonight?"

"I'm fine. I just need a second to pull myself together. Either way, it's not about me but Danny and Lando so I cant just not show up. I just need a second." I reassured him but to be honest it sounded like I needed to reassure myself.

"Come here." He whispered pulling me into his arms.

Moments later I broke down. Broken sobs and some reassuring whispers were the only audible thing in this room. I don't know how long I was crying but after I calmed down, I was still in a tight embrace. Max couldnt replace Chris, but he was a brother figure non the less.

"Why am I never good enough for anyone?" I whispered. My words almost got lost in the space but the dutchman heard them anyways.

"You are. They just dont know what theyre losing. And when someone comes around and finally sees how great you are at what youre doing they wont let anyone tell them otherwise. No sponsor, no media, and no publicity."

"Max, you don't get it. Honda threatened to pull out. You guys can't run your cars without Honda. I'm so repelling that even the fucking engine supplier can't fucking stand me!" I shouted, "Im sorry. I didn't mean to shout. I didn't want to take it out on you. Im sorry." I mumbled.

"Don't worry. I'll talk with them tomorrow. I promise and I'll tell them how amazing you are and what you could do with that car."

"Max, don't. It's not even that I'm a bad driver it's that I'm a bitch at every single press conference or interview I gave. I'm sorry I have to cut this conversation short, but I need to get ready now. I have to make myself look presentable. Feel free to stay while I do my makeup and stuff." I explained rushing into the bathroom and leaving the door open.

I did a more natural make-up look and curled my hair before walking out and digging through my suitcase." Okay. I need your opinion. I dont have a dress with me but if I wear this skirt and hold on-" I held up a white silky skirt before continuing to look through my clothes. "There you are. This glittery top makes it fancier. Silver jewellery because it is silver and some heels, I have in there one sec-" I threw the skirt and top onto the bed before pulling out some nude heels. "I know they dont look comfy with the straps, but they really are, and I even had a pedicure fairly recently, so it doesnt matter that theyre open. What do you think?" I looked at him questioningly.

"Sounds good. I thought you seemed smaller when I came in here. Do you wear high heels all the time?"

"No. I mostly wear ankle boots with a few centimetres of heel or buffalo-styled shoes. But not for working out." I explained before walking back into the bathroom closing the door this time to change.

"What do you think? Does it look too cheap?" I asked walking out and putting the last earring in.

"You know you cant just push your feelings away, Alex." Max said looking me up and down.

"I'm not pushing them away. Just putting them aside for a while to get a clear mind. You know? So, I can analyse the problem objectively and decide how I can solve it. Now, be honest. Does it look too cheap?"

Max just sighed, "No. you look good. I'll leave you to it now. Should I drive you? I doubt you can drive yourself. You know the motorcycle and the skirt might be a slight problem."

"Oh yeah! I havent thought of that. Id really appreciate that. Thank you. Ill just take a taxi or an uber back to the hotel."

"Lets go then."

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