Eternal Desires(On Hold)

42

The pain of having to watch the person you care deeply about suffering and in pain but there's nothing you can do about is like the most intense situation jalal wouldn't want anyone to ever go through such experience, it's been a quiet and long week for him, when he received the call 6days ago from the hospital he never thought ummi's health will escalate so fast, he feel so completely uninterested about everything.

"He doesn't smile that much,
How is little jalal and his mum?"ummi ask looking up from her son to jalal who's lost in his own thoughts.

"J."she call tapping him on the hand and she quickly look up.

"Goodness where is your mind at?"she say with a  smile and jalal just stare at her.

He knows for sure ummi is putting on the happy face, acting as do all that's going on isn't hurting so nobody will have to worry about her, he can see how badly this sickness has affected and how gradually her health is deteriorating regardless how much efforts the doctors are putting to make sure she remain Healy until they found a donor, ummi is in pain but he can't do anything to help her which makes him even helpless the more.

"You have to stop worrying about me that much j."she say with a smile and he shake his head, he  look at the little boy on her lap for a while before turning his gaze back to her.

"I'm sorry."is the only word jalal could come up with, he doesn't even know what he's sorry for,
but what else can he say,
He is sorry that nothing seems work out for ummi,
He is sorry that he can't help her with anything,
He is sorry that no matter how hard he try to make her happy nothing seems to work out.

"I was happy j."she say and smile weakly at him as she brush her thumb on his hand, he look down at her hand, how pale they looks and sigh.

"I......

"You were the best thing that happened to me so far....."ummi say with a long pause and look down at there entwined hands.
"When i first met fu'ad i thought i was lucky to have someone like him in my life, he wasn't always there but he was a good husband."ummi sigh and gently lay her son  on the bed who's dozing sitting.
"J if you weren't a part of my life this past few months especially with everything going on in my life,
I'm not sure i would even survive this long,
As bad as i don't want to think about death but........she slightly cough into the tissue with a sigh and drop the bloody tissue into the wastebin as jalal look at the wastebin in frustration.
"I love you jalal and if there's another life after this then i will choose you again, if i have to live 1000 lifetime's i will search for you in each life."ummi say with a weak smile but jalal just stare at her.

"You are bleeding."he say staring at the blood coming down from her nose and ummi use the tissue to clean it,
He watch as she slightly squeeze some of the tissue into her small nose hole with a sigh.

"I......the door to the hospital room open and the two look up.

"Abbah."ummi call with a smile as her mum come in behind her dad, to her suprise firdaus is with them which makes her to even smile widely.

"It's a full house."ummi say and her mum nod.

"Firdaus come for the weekend."her mum say as she sit with a sigh next to her husband who's now sitting on the couch in the hospital room.

"Why is the tissue soaking."jalal ask looking at the now bloody tissue as he reach out and remove it from ummi's nose.

"It will stop."ummi say grabbing jalal hand but he shake his head and stand up from the chair he's sitting.

"J were are you going to?"she ask but he just storm out of the hospital Maki her to sigh as her parent give her a worried look which make her shake her head with a chuckle.

"You all are over worrying about this,
I will be fine."ummi say with a smile as firdaus just stare at her, she still find it hard to believe that ummi is her sister, it seems odd at thesame time right.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Jalal POV.

"Then when can she get a donor,
my wife is seriously sick,
Is it when she die that we will get a donor,
I don't even know why ummi is persistent about getting treatment here."I say with a hiss as i shake my head .

"Jalal,
Please sit,
Anywhere you will take ummi in this world she will still receive same treatment as we are doing here,
We are trying our best jalal,
Hopefully we get a donor before end of next week because ummi did need a heart transplant as soon as possible."the doctor say and i swear if I'm alone now i would rather breakdown because all this is stressing me out.

The door to the office open and i sigh.

"Doctor,
ummi is having a seiz..........
I don't wait to hear whatever the nurse want to say i push past her and storm the stairs skipping two to three at a time to the second floor of the building as i quickly run to the hospital room but stop when the nurses wheel the stretcher out of the room.

"What is wrong with her?"I ask grabbing a side of the stretcher as i look down at ummi's unconscious body confuse.

"She will be fine,
She just had a slight seizure."the nurse explain as the wheel her to the theatre.

"The why is she going to the theatre!
What is happening?
Can anyone explain to me what the fuck is wrong with my wife!"I yell helplessly and angry as the doctor walk toward us.

"Jalal calm down,
Ummi will be fine,
We will just do some examination an......

"Doctor her pulse is dropping."a nurse say and he quickly saunter to the door and disappear inside as i just stare at the hospital theatre door, the red bulb instantly light up and i turn.

"Jalal."ummi's dad can but I walk pass the middle age man and walk down the stairs, I couldn't think straight, my mind are clouded and my brain is trying to process everything going on in my life, I feel helpless and tired of everything going on in my life, for sometime my mind drift to salimah and the little boy I don't have to think much to believe he's my son,
I push away the thoughts but somehow I find myself thinking about my mum and even my dad i shake off all thought and climb my car, I just want some peace I say to myself as i start the ignition with ummi lifeless face still clinging in my brain.