Dear Husband, yours only [on hold]

✥ 5 | Letter

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Dear Husband,

     Sleeping with you in the same bed feels like a task. You're a hugger. The first night we slept together, it was awkward. Very very awkward. One week of sleeping with you felt like signing up for an unknown adventure at night.

     Here's a secret — I am a light sleeper. So every time you fling your arm and it lands on me, I wake up. Every time you throw your leg around my legs, I wake up. Trust me, it's been quite an eventful fortnight in bed. You can imagine what I think about when my cousins tease me of having sleepless nights. I just sit there thinking to myself how absolutely right they are. However the reason is very different from what they think.

     At first it was annoying. But now, well, I think I am getting used to it. They say it takes twenty-one days to make a habit. I am more than halfway there. Maybe in a few days I will learn to sleep through your actions. Oh that sounds so wrong. But I don't want to strike it out now. I like it neat.

     However, yesterday night was ... strange.

     When your arm curled around my waist, I was lowkey expecting you were awake. But you were not. You sleep without a care for the world, do you know that?

     Oh and I... I had a hard time sleeping last night. It's really never happened before. And I don't know even if I should write here what I felt. But there's hardly a chance you'll read this. Because this is becoming a very personal journal now. I doubt if I will ever share it with you.

     I had dreams about you. You know the kind of dreams that make you break into a sweat, that send your anticipation soaring up the sky and your spine, that leave you frustrated. Yeah, that kind of dream. It's weird, right? Sleeping right next to you, with your arm around me, I was dreaming of things that we'd be doing, that you'd be doing to me. And please, it's all because of you. That kiss we shared minutes before calling it a night, that was where all of this stemmed from.

     I know, if you'd read this you'd call me double faced. Yes, I told you that I may not be ready yet to do the deed. But Sidharth, I meant it. And yes, I still was imagining us going all the way in my head. This is insane and I know it.

     And this is all your doing, dear husband!

     P.S.: When I showed you hesitation last night, when I wanted you to stop. You ran your fingertips along my cheek, passed me a reassuring smile and kissed my forehead. In that moment, I fell a little more in your love. You're the best husband a woman could ask for. Thank you for choosing to be mine.

With Love,

Yours Only.

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