Dear Husband, yours only [on hold]

✥ 51 | Promises

Sanjh always believed in forgiveness. She was never the one to hold on to grudges and bitterness. She lived by the principle of live and let live. She had never wished bad upon anyone.

However, Minal became an exception. If only she had known what Minal was doing. If only she could fight with her. Tell her she was wrong. Tell her that she was evil to tear apart her happy marriage. How did that woman love with herself after snatching the happiness of others?

Every time Sidharth spoke of Minal, she felt an ugly wound being scraped. Minal didn't deserve his kindness, she didn't deserve to be remembered fondly as his dear friend whom he loved. She wanted to see Sidharth hate Minal. She wanted Sidharth to know that Mibal never truly loved him, she only loved herself, she was selfish. Love was never selfish. 

She was miserable, really. She knew it was wrong to feel so many negative emotions for someone. Minal was gone. But still a part of Sanjh was jealous of her. She had known Sidharth for way longer than she had. Sidharth had always been there for her when she needed him whether it was as kids or when she was sick. 

Sanjh sighed. Sidharth wasn't there for her when she needed him, when she was pregnant with his child. How could Sidharth be so blind to Minal's obvious manipulation? How could Sidharth not understand all of this? It really bothered her.

But the little sanity she still held onto told her all of this was wrong. Nothing good came out of resentment, grudges, anger and jealousy. Minal was gone. Yet, somewhere Sanjh felt insecure. A part of her wanted Sidharth to listen to every word Minal had spoken in that audio. Didn't he deserve to know the truth? The true face of his so called best friend.

"Sanjh,"

Her thoughts paused as she heard his voice. She slowly turned around to look at him.

They hadn't spoken since the last night. They had just slept beside each other. At least she had eventually fallen asleep. She wasn't sure if he had a wink of sleep. His eyes looked tired and he didn't look that well. Somehow she could tell if he had slept or not by just one look at his face.

"Ron is ready. You want help with breakfast or something?"

"No, it's ready." She answered and went back to quickly plating the poha she had prepared. 

Sanjh and Sidharth were mostly silent while Raunak was in high spirits sharing his plans of telling his friends about playing in snow and the yummy cake his mother made.

"Ron, go get your bag," Sanjh said when the boy had finished his breakfast.

As soon as he left for the room, Sanjh turned to look at Sidharth who was looking back at her. "You didn't sleep that well?" She asked softly.

He nodded. "You couldn't fall asleep too," he said quietly. She had been shifting in bed , at times turning to him at others away from him trying to fall asleep. She had only fallen asleep when he had curved his arms around her and held her in place.

"Sanjh, I am sorry for yesterday. It was insensitive of me." He vocalized his thoughts, placing his spoon down. His hand then reached out to hers across the table. 

"It's okay. I may have... gone overboard. And I totally spoilt the day. I am sorry." She said pulling her hand back from his hold and lowering her gaze to her almost full plate of breakfast. She had no appetite. 

Sidharth got off his chair and walked around the table. He got on his knees before her chair. He gently took her hand from her lap into both his hands. "You didn't, Sanjh. Guilt is a horrible emotion and you definitely shouldn't feel guilty for feelings. And I am glad you shared what you feel with me. It means so much to me when you talk about your feelings, when you share them with me. I know, it's hard for you to but you are trying. I can't right the past, but I can try to make sure I don't repeat the same mistakes."