The Finding Tree

Chapter 27 - The Assignment

April 25, 2004

The thin green lines of dawn were dancing off the shore of Lake Erie, as the smell of coffee permeated the dim kitchen. Traffic was starting to hum down Euclid Avenue and the fog was starting to lift.

Janey padded out from the bedroom in a pink unicorn T-shirt and purple plaid pajama shorts. Some things just never changed. 

She sniffed the new bag of fresh roasted beans she'd picked up from Heinen's yesterday and closed her eyes in brief contentment. The new programmable automatic coffee maker was a worthwhile investment, if she could awake to fresh coffee already brewing in the morning.

Looking out her loft window toward the horizon, she couldn't believe she'd decided to move here, but she had, and she actually liked it. The grey days not withstanding, Cleveland wasn't as horrific as some made it sound.

She had moved into this downtown apartment four months ago after being recruited out of Seattle by the Plain Dealer. Traditional reporting was a hard sell to new graduates it seemed, but Janey was a good catch. She had a degree in Journalism from Lewis & Clark, had written for her college paper, and interned at the Sun-Times, which hired her on the spot.

Most young people could see the downfall of hard copy news barreling toward them, and that the corporate handlers were slow to adapt to virtual thinking.

Newspaper was becoming a losing proposition and the last thing a talented writer wanted was to be set up for failure. So new hires would usually cut their teeth on newsroom zwieback, get some good editorial notches in their belt and then head for the hills once they'd wrung whatever useful skills they could get from the old timers. 

But Janey had three years of successful beat reports in her pocket and a keen eye for detail along with the empathy and emotional depth to identify and lead an interview with trust and accuracy. She'd been on the front lines of the arts and humanities section as an intern fresh from the college cradle when 9/11 hit and she had earned her stripes in the heart wrenching trenches when people wanted to share their pain.

Five months ago, she'd been headhunted and it had happened at the best moment possible, even if "Arts and Culture" reporting would never gain her a Pulitzer. 

She was looking for a fresh start, and of all places, Cleveland offered it, because it was far away, and also because Ben wasn't there. 

Ben.

Janey sighed into her coffee, and took a long swallow of the hazelnut tainted brew. She hated that she liked the stuff now. Ginny would laugh if she knew. 

He'd proposed, he'd actually done it. The memory swarmed over her, like an unwelcome perfume. The kind that made one nauseous when you received a hug from a stranger.

She had frozen. She didn't know what to say. This kind, thoughtful man, who she'd thought she loved for the last two years had gotten down on one knee, and asked the question...and she couldn't say yes. 

Janey's eyes closed with the painful memory of hurting him. She had never wanted that, her chest constricted with the ache as she rubbed the small gold pendant that still hung between her breasts.

Her heart had split from the wound she knew she had caused Ben, but the idea of spending her life with someone that she couldn't love was a fool's errand. She hated the thought of leading him on any longer. So she told him in guttural sobs that she was sorry, and that they were over, then ran out of the restaurant.

Ben had been the safe alternative after the tumultuous nature of her college relationship. Jamie had been the answer to Peter five years earlier. She'd been a junior. He was a senior. He'd seen her at the Student Union and pursued her until she gave in and went on a date with him. He was everything she thought she wanted.

Plus he swept away the last vestiges of Peter with his fun social gatherings, over the top romantic gestures, dancing, cookouts and several camping trips out to the Oregon coastal rainforest.

She had loved Jamie....in the way one loves something after a hard loss. Tentatively, carefully and partially, but never completely or blindly.

Never with the all consuming fire that burns you up, and leaves you content but dying in the ashes.

Never the way she loved Peter.

This was a good thing in retrospect, because after three years of adventure, Evidently Janey wasn't enough anymore, and Jamie decided that someone else was a better fit, so he left one day, and never came back.

No one could truly turn her heart after that it seemed, and the hell she put Ben through, she'd decided that a midwest state of mind was the best thing to find herself again.

That and being alone. Alone was better than what her past was offering. Alone was the only thing that seemed to work.

Janey's BlackBerry was buzzing on the counter, as she checked her watch, and cleared the sleep from her throat.

"Denise, it's only seven-thirty! You must have eaten your Wheaties to call me this early on a Sunday. What's up?"

"Girl, you're lucky I like you, otherwise I'd a left your smartass in the dust on this, but I know you want it, and you bring me bagels sometimes, so I owe you. BUT we are even on this now, I don't owe you shit anymore... you hear me?"

Janey smiled... her editor was vicious, like a mouthy chihuahua is vicious. All snarl and bark, but very little bite. She could just see Denise's big hair wobble with attitude as she looked over her reading glasses at the desk phone on speaker.

"What do you need Denise?"

"I got you an interview with that new artist that's so hot right now. He's got a show down there near you at the Bonfoey Gallery. Evidently he's got a feature exhibit this month and is in town for the opening. You got an hour to get dressed and meet him there. You hearin' me? You better drink that coffee girl...brush your nappy mess and take your camera! I don't wanna babysit you, so do it right!"

The phone clicked, and Janey looked at it with a smile!