The Rhythm of Your Heart [Yan!DSMP x Reader]

CHAPTER XXXIV: The Hanged Man Reversed

T/W: Mentions of suicide and selfharm

Also, no fanart section today because I'm publishing this during a break, so the fanart that I've received will appear in the next chapter! 

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You don't want to let him into your house, but you also don't feel comfortable returning to the festival now that you've both seen the plant and met the Grim Reaper. For a minute, you think of going into the forest in the hopes that Wilbur will abandon you, but that doesn't sound like the best idea when there's nobody else with you. After all, you've not seen the actual monster yet that would hide on the other side of the woods, so you can't really afford to get killed because you underestimate the opponent.

Besides, as much as you do not like Wilbur, he looks terrible. And well, you feel bad for him.

You can always take back inviting him into your apartment, can't you? So, why not help him out first at your humble home and afterwards just make sure you tell him to fuck off again?

You know it's an idiotic idea. You know that this is the last thing you want to do, but you're really wondering what exactly it is that's driving you to suggest he comes with you. Is it pure kindness? Or the hope that Phil will help you if you help his son? You truly don't know. But you do know that it's a decision that you'll regret later on.

"Come on," you say, putting your hand on Wilbur's shoulder while you're walking through the streets, already too far from the castle where he lives. "Let's get you to my apartment, okay? I'll see if I have something for you." Wilbur simply nods, completely silent as he almost seems to be devoid of life. Although he does grow more lively the longer he is away from the plant, you can still see how it seriously harmed him, almost like some kind of poison.

You've never seen someone look so lifeless.

So, while you're leading Wilbur to your apartment, he's keeping his eyes on you, which you aren't even aware of. It's not enough. It's not fucking enough. Touching you has always increased his feeling of being alive – of being human – but it's never been mandatory for that euphoria. Now, it is. The beating of his heart is still there, but he can't feel it as well as he wants to. It's like it's been there for days in the palm of his hand, his fingers being the bars in which it's been imprisoned, only for it to die in his grasp.

He tries to touch you as much as he can. Hell, it doesn't even have to be very obvious: your hand brushing his is already enough. But he has to touch you. He has to actually feel you for the energy to give him what he needs. And it's so tiring.

He has to touch you. He has to feel something. He has to feel alive again. He may not understand what those flowers are, but he does know that it sucked the last bit of his soul out of him. You're the only person who can give him back what it takes. After all, what's the point of living if you aren't even alive?

"Watch out when you go inside of the elevator," you suddenly say, almost making him choke on his own breath, causing you to feel conflicted about his mental state. "Uh, you okay?" When he silently nods, you continue. "Well, watch out when you go inside of the elevator. I may or may not have dropped a few silver coins in it accidentally and I'm not sure if it's already been cleaned up." However, Wilbur just enters without looking around whatsoever.

It's quite awkward. Neither of you really say anything. Wilbur just stares at you, with his heart beating so intensely that you can almost hear it.

And like that, you lead him to your apartment. You strongly hate yourself for allowing him to enter your apartment, but at this moment, you don't consider your feelings to be the priority. After all, you can protect yourself just fine. Your apartment is filled with weapons towards vampires, so it's not like he should try anything. Although, he doesn't seem to be willing to either.