Blood and Wine

𝗖𝗵.6 Choice

The next morning Jaskier woke with a start, his heart racing, feeling like he had just escaped some terrible nightmare. "Fuck! What are you doing here!?" Jaskier asked looking to the side of the bed. having no memory on how he ended up back in this room.

Geralt stood leaning against the wall watching Jaskier as he sat up,

The Witcher watched as the bard got out of bed and headed toward his wardrobe pulling out a clean set of clothes, "Why aren't you wearing your necklace anymore?" Geralt questioned staring at the gold chained tuning fork hanging from the bard's neck.

"Oh, that stupid thing? it was simply a promise ring, I just decided on not wearing it anymore." Jaskier replied with a shrug, pulling a plain white shirt over his head, before reaching for his tunic.

"..Anyways I've broken that promise already. Now you will have to get used to my being without my ring.." Jaskier stated sadly as he buttoned up his tunic. He pulled the collar straight before running his hands through his soft locks.

"What promise?" Geralt asked curiously as Jaskier turned to look at him, "Geralt.." he sighed heavily, his eyes pleading, "Don't make me say it.."

Geralt was silent for a second, "Alright. Whatever you don't want to tell me is fine."

Jaskier smiles fondly at him, "Thanks." He said softly but deep down he couldn't help but feel bad, usually he tells the Witcher everything. It's not like he doesn't trust Geralt or anything it's just not exactly easy to explain why he keeps something as insignificant as a silly promise ring.

So instead he just changes the subject, "..So since your my mate now, what does that mean? Do we do things differently now? Are we going to act all lovey dovey now? Am I allowed to embrace you without being scolded anymore? Or maybe I should just hug you instead?"

Geralt frowned a little, "Yennefer and I found something that could make you human...and once we do everything will go back to normal, you will just forget about our years together and it'll be like I never existed."

"Well that's great, I guess...wait what!?" Jaskier exclaimed in utter disbelief. "Wait, what do you mean it'll be like you've never existed!? This isn't funny Geralt!! You can't possibly expect me to forget you, especially after everything we've went through.."

The bard huffed crossing his arms. "It'll be easier this way, I'm trying to help you." Geralt explained calmly.

Jaskier stared confusedly at the man who had became his mate. What does Geralt have against him now? "How will this help me?"

"We can't live like this; I need to be on the path and I still have to train Cirilla, she needs me. She needs me to stay strong for her." Geralt stated firmly as he walked closer towards Jaskier.

"But why must you always push me away, why am I different than everyone else?" The bard asked confused, he felt like an object that didn't belong anywhere. A mistake.

"I'm not pushing you away Jask,"  Geralt reassured. "We can't be bonded together, we'll just get ourselves killed on the path-"

"-Just tell me you don't like me that way....I'm not that fucking broken!" Jaskier yelled angrily. "I've been through everything with you and you still treat me like a stranger!" Jaskier explained.

Geralt froze, he didn't want this, not like this at least..

"I'm sorry," Geralt says. "I didn't mean to push you away..I never meant too..my duty is to protect Ciri,"

Jaskier looked at him sadly, he knew what Geralt meant he was destined to protect one, he didn't need another destiny to ruin his journeys.

"I know," The bard whispered, he reached out and hugged Geralt as tight as he could. "..Tell me there's another way without losing my memory of you.." He mumbled, burying his face against Geralt's chest, inhaling deeply.

The scent of him, the sound of his slow heartbeat, the touch of his body. It comforted Jaskier.

"There's not..." The Witcher replied sounding defeated. "This is the only way."

Jaskier pushed Geralt away gently. "No, Geralt, please. There has to be something that could work. Something that wouldn't affect my memories at all,"

Geralt paused, looking into Jaskiers eyes, seeing the desperation, the fear. "There isn't any," placing a hand on the bards shoulder.

Jaskier pulled himself away from Geralt's hold. "Well then...that's just it then? I'll just live a miserable boring life." He snapped as he paced in frustration.

"Jask.." Geralt tried to reach out again for Jaskier but the bard stepped back. "No, stop it! Just stop Geralt. Stop treating me like some fragile damsel. I could do this, I could stay as I am. It's the other way that you refuse to accept. "

He stopped pacing for a moment, "So stop treating me like I'm nothing more than a burden." Jaskier growled as he glared harshly at the Witcher. "You're acting like I'm incapable. That's not true either." He continued as he started pacing again.

Jaskier grabbed his lute off the floor by the side of the bed and started to strum out a familiar tune. He took a deep calming breath trying to compose himself. When he was sure that he couldn't feel worse than he did right now, Jaskier turned around to face the Witcher who had moved forward, concern clear in his eyes.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you Geralt, I'm just...frustrated. I wish...you would just listen sometimes and let me choose what to do, I really do understand your reasoning for this...for us not to be bound because of a bond." Jaskier confessed slowly walking towards Geralt.

Geralt stared at the man in front of him, seeing the sincerity and pain evident in Jaskiers eyes. He nodded slowly, "I'm listening."

"Then please..." Jaskier pleaded, wrapping an arm around the Witcher's waist bringing their bodies flush against each other clearly the Incubus in him was trying to take control of the situation.

"Please, let me decide what I want." Jaskier breathed. "..Let me try to prove to you I can handle this." Geralt leaned forward slightly resting his forehead against Jaskiers, closing his eyes tightly, taking a deep breath. "No." He whispered, opening his eyes back up.

"..But why?" Jaskier asked confusedly, "Please Geralt..." The bard whispered, reaching up to cup Geralt's cheek, stroking it with his thumb. the Witcher couldn't help but lean into the bard's touch.

"Because I can't bear the thought of losing you Jaskier, you could die if I'm gone no longer than a few weeks." Geralt explained quietly.

Jaskier frowned slightly, "..A few weeks? We won't even be apart that long...we can keep in contact, we'll both stay safe,"

Geralt shook his head in denial, "No, I've talked it over with Yennefer and Vesemir we've all agreed that this is your best way to live." He steps back from Jaskier and turning his gaze to the floor.

The bard watched the Witcher silently for a while, feeling hurt, angry, disappointed, confused, and just tired, he wanted to argue, yell, hit Geralt and scream, but somehow he just didn't want to..

"Fine.." Jaskier muttered quietly, dropping his gaze too.

"..I'll do it."