The 1

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"And if my wishes came true, it would've been you..."

Bucky POV

"So Mr. Barnes, are you still having nightmares?" Bucky remains silent, pensively staring at the wall. Dr. Raynor speaks a little louder this time, finally catching Bucky's attention, "James, I asked you a question: Are you still having nightmares?"

"No."

"We've been doing this long enough that I can tell when you're lying," Dr. Raynor lightly scolds, examining the super soldier as he sits in the couch opposite her. He looks tired, exhausted even, and definitely more agitated than normal. "And, well, you seem a little off today. Did something happen recently?"

"No."

This time he tells the truth. Nothing really happens anymore. His phone doesn't ding with texts that he wouldn't respond to either way. He's accepted the silence. He welcomes it. Except for his amends, he's alone. And he's found a certain contentment with the loneliness.

"You're a civilian now. With your history, the government needs to know that you're not gonna..." Dr. Raynor trails off, raising her first in insinuation. She drops her hand, giving Bucky an urging expression. "It's a condition of your pardon. So, tell me about your most recent nightmare."

"I didn't have a nightmare," he dryly insists.

Dr. Raynor sighs in defeat, her eyes flicker up to Bucky's stoic, unimpressed expression. "Did something happen? Have you talked to anyone?"

He shrugs, slightly raising his eyebrows.

"Let me see your phone," Dr. Raynor states, a firm finality in her tone that leaves Bucky no room to argue.

A huff of annoyance leaves his mouth, reluctantly pulling the phone from his pocket to hand to Dr. Raynor.

She flips open the phone, tilting her head at Bucky in mild disappointment.

"You don't even have ten numbers on this thing, and I'm the only person you've called all week. That is so sad." She looks up from the screen to look at Bucky and the stone-faced expression still on his face, seemingly unaffected by anything she's saying. "You're alone. You're a hundred years old, you have no family, no history-"

"Are you lashing out at me, Doc?" Bucky wryly retorts. "Because that's really unprofessional. I mean, when did that start with your clients-"

"You've ignored all texts from Sam. And let's not talk about Sunshine? I'm going to assume that's a nickname." This time Bucky unintentionally remains silent. Dr. Raynor notes the way Bucky's jaw ticks, clenching from the bittersweet memory of your short-lived emergence in his life. A tie that he himself cut without so much as a goodbye.

And though he really wishes that she wouldn't prod at the emotional wound, he's not naive enough to think she wouldn't to finally put a crack in Bucky's stoic, unchanging expression.

And he has to commend her, because it's a very effective strategy.

His first curls in as she looks at the screen, reading aloud each unanswered message from you. Each text he can almost hear in your voice. He can almost picture the way your mouth would twist in disappointment as you realized he was never going to respond.

Each text read aloud just adds more salt in the wound.

"I just wanna know if you're okay."

"Are we okay?"

"In case you see this, I miss you."

"Is that weird? Doesn't matter, it's the truth."

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